Sophia had her two week check-up this morning and weighed in at 7 lbs 10 oz. She’s gained an entire pound since her appointment last Sunday! No worries about this little one’s appetite. And she sleeps too! I am so lucky.
Bella was a little apprehensive; but I’d made sure to repeat all morning that Sophia was going to see the doctor, that it was Sophia’s doctor. And so though she got very quiet and wanted to climb onto grandma’s lap, she didn’t fuss or cry when our doctor appeared. She did get a little….concerned on Sophia’s behalf, however, when we pulled off all her clothes and she started crying. Bella kept insisting that Sophia get dressed. So it looks like we’ve conquered the terror of the doctor or at least got it under control for now.
All in all it was a successful expedition; but it wore me out. We came home and I fed Sophia and then slept in the recliner with a blissed-out Sophia perched upon my chest. And isn’t that a pleasant way to spend an afternoon?
This reminds me of a discussion I’ve had with myself over how I’m going to explain love and marriage to my daughter. Yes, I talk to myself, and I tend to play out scenarios well in advance of any chance of their occurrence. But I thought of this:
Love is the desire of the best for another, even if one or both of you are uncomfortable with the results.
I think of this especially with my husband, and especially right now. I don’t want him to be gone, I don’t want him to have to miss our toddler’s Terrible Twos, her learning to talk, and our older daughter’s first day of Kindergarten. But I know, and he knows, that this is what is best right now. If it were not in God’s plan, it wouldn’t have happened.
It’s similar with discipline. Since my parents divorced when I was six, I missed a lot of correction, and when I did receive correction it wasn’t done by those who loved me. I want my children to know that I desire what is best for them. Because they are unique, that may not look anything like another child’s “best,” and it often won’t be comfortable for either of us. Love requires it.
That last paragraph reminds me of a scene from the Jungle Book. I am paraphrasing the GIC version, but Bagheera has disagreed with Baloo’s striking Mowgli. Baloo responds that it is better for someone who loves Mowgli to correct him, than for someone who does not care for him to take advantage of him. Or something like that. It’s better for us to be corrected in love, and that’s what parents can do.
Children need their parents to be parents first and friends second. Of course that doesn’t need to contradict what Melissa was saying, but it does seem to me that one valuable habit parents can instill in their children is the habit of discipline—and sometimes that means sticking to a schedule.
I’m not going to be dogmatic about it, because I’m not very good at sticking to a schedule myself. And frankly, my day right now follows about the same path that Melissa discusses. But my oldest child is not quite six, so we can have a bit more fluidity in our day. When the girls get old enough to all be doing schoolwork, I expect us to have more structure to our activities—not simply for the sake of being structured, but also to instill a sense of the value of discipline in time management.
As to discipline—I would far rather discipline my sassy or disobedient four-year-old, even harshly, than to try and smooth over the issue and have to deal with a sassy, disobedient eight-year-old or sixteen-year-old. It is my job as parent—my JOB, not just some kinda unpleasant task I can shirk off—to correct my children and instill proper habits of virtue. Real-life experience down the road will be a lot harsher in showing up faults than I’ll be now.
Melanie, an interesting post. I think a lot about the best way of disciplining my children, in the sense of teaching them the difference between good and bad behavior – it can be difficult even when the kids are very very young! Anyway, I don’t have time to write much, but I wanted to leave here a prayer I found on the back of a St. Nicholas’ image in my church, last December:
A Prayer For Children
O God the Father of mankind, who hast given me these my children, and committed them to my charge to bring them up for Thee, and to prepare them for eternal life: help me with Thy heavenly grace, that I may be able to fulfill this most sacred duty and stewardship.
Teach me both what to give and what to withhold; when to reprove and when to forbear; make me to be gentle, yet firm; considerate and watchful; and deliver me equally from the weakness of indulgence, and the excess of severity; and grant that, both by word and by example, I may be careful to lead them in the ways of wisdom and true piety.
Pour Thy grace into their hearts, and strengthen and multiply in them the gifts of Thy Holy Spirit, that they may daily grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ; and so, faithfully serving Thee here, may come to rejoice in Thy presence forever hereafter. Amen.
mrs d,
I’m with you on the structure/discipline. I’m terrible about self discipline and structuring my time so that’s something I want to instill in my children. I want them to be better equipped than I am at managing their time and organizing their days. To me it also has much to do with avoiding the sins of sloth and laziness.
giulietta,
Thank you for the beautiful prayer. I’m going to print it off and add it to my daily prayers.
Typing w/ one hand here while I hold a baby, but just wanted to say thanks for a great post! Very interesting thoughts. I was going to add my two cents but Mrs. D covered it.
Great post!
Very insightful.
I’m afraid I often think too much of myself and my dislike of suffering when having to cause my children to suffer for their own good.
I think this is one of the tensions of mothers homeschooling their children….sometimes we can get too focused on making things easy and pleasant for them to their ( and our) detriment.
Always hard to find balance!