This is becoming the theme of this pregnancy, of this Christmas season, of my life.
This afternoon I had my pre-surgery testing appointment at the hospital. The nurse asked how I was feeling and I gave her an honest answer. No polite small talk here. I felt wretched and let her know. She led me to the little room where they take your blood and make you answer a bunch of questions and whatnot. And then partway into her roster of questions, she took another look at me: “Are you sure you want to have surgery tomorrow?”
“No.” I hesitated. I hate changes of plans. I abhor last minute changes of plans. But having a baby tomorrow was not sounding like a good idea.
So she picked up the phone and talked to the doctor on call, who agreed that they could reschedule my surgery. And then she left the room for a minute and came back with a new plan: Thursday at 2pm.
I am not happy with this plan. But I am not feeling good enough to protest. The nurse abandons her pre-surgery routine and instead shows me to triage where they do a non-stress test that shows Lucia is doing just fine and when that is over a doctor releases me to come back Thursday.
Shucks. I was really looking forward to having a New Year’s Eve baby. It took a long time for that date to sound right; but over the course of a month it really grew on me. But it was not to be. I should have learned this one with Anthony, babies come when they come, even c-section babies.
So now I have a few more days to rest and recuperate, to maybe set things in order, to fret and to fuss and to grow nervous. A few more days I didn’t want but I guess I need.
Unless, of course, labor starts on its own. The waiting game.
Your words are so very beautiful. I will carry them with me throughout the day. Thank you. And blessings to you and yours.
I don’t know about your previous births but this sounds like the ends of my pregnancies. Is this labor? No, just another night of enough contraction action to keep me awake. Sigh. Maybe tomorrow will be the day! Lather, rinse, repeat.
I’m praying for you and the wee lass.
Bella and Sophie were both pretty definite, though each was a few days past her due date. My water broke with both of them and that was a clear signal that it was time to go to the hospital, per doctor’s orders. So only one long night of wondering with Sophie as the contractions came and went and then clear sailing orders.
Ben just was scheduled and we showed up at the hospital on the day, no prior contractions or drama. And then there he was. There was plenty of anticipation and anxiety but not that wondering about when.
Anthony came four days before his scheduled c-section so it was one night of contractions and then I couldn’t put it off any longer—off to the hospital and an “emergency” c-section.
I suppose that’s the one comfort of a planned c-section. Once labor begins, they don’t want you to spend a lot of time contracting lest you have a rupture. Instead, they just do the surgery early. This is the first time I’ve really had that experience of days of postponement after expectations had been raised.
Thanks for the prayers.
What lovely thoughts about not being in control. Please pray for some friends – three couples! – one older, one in middle years, and one quite young, whose marriages are suddenly out of control. I am so sad for them, and especially for the 21 children involved, this New Year’s Day.
I will be praying for you until Lucia arrives.
Melanie, I will be praying for you this week…just a thought. As I read the day for your re-scheduled C-section, I thought of my patron name saint (my lay Domincan name, I am Third Order life professed), St. Zedislava (spelling varies). Her feast day the Dominicans celebrate on January 4th in most provinces across the world. She is someone you can pray to for strength because, as a Third Order, wife, evangelist and MOTHER OF many, she knew lots of struggles. God bless.http://www.cathcom.net/saints/saint.php?saint_id=5969
For what it is worth, I’m not making New Years resolutions but New Baby resolutions… Goals to focus on after we’ve recovered and adjusted from our new arrival. I figure Ill know when to begin focusing on them when we’ve begun to find our groove and rhythm again and I get that “now where was I” feeling again.
One of my very favorite sonnets, and one which I have not reading many years. Thank you for reminding me of its truth and beauty.
Prayers for Thursday, dear Melanie, will be offered,
God bless you and little Lucia!