I don’t know why it is, but in the last few weeks my writing energy has totally dried up. It felt like I was on a great roll there for a while. Now I’ve got plenty of blog posts I want to write, a pile of books to review…. and as soon as the kids are in bed my brain turns to jelly and all I want to do is binge watch Call the Midwife on Netflix.
So, rather than opening up the Netflix tab, or debating about which of the many writing projects I want to procrastinate on, I thought I’d just open up the blog and see if I can’t write my way out of the funk by writing about the funk.
Maybe I’m feeling guilty about several rather overdue book reviews. Maybe it’s just that my subconscious mind is still working to process both Green Dolphin Street and East of Eden, two amazing books I finished in the last couple of weeks. Perhaps that’s it. Decision lock: which of these many projects should I sink my teeth into?
Or maybe it’s a new medicine I’m taking? Maybe it’s just hormones. Or maybe it’s just a summer slump. Maybe it’s the feeling of overwhelm from so many doctor’s visits in the last few months that have me out of the house at odd times two or three times a week and thus keep me off kilter, not able to fall into my regular schedule.
Maybe it’s dread of summer vacation. I want to want to go camping in Maine, but the truth is I’m sort of dreading it. I am not looking forward to sleeping in a tent, cooking on a fire, spending lots of time in the car, having more disruption to my routine. I wish I was excited about it…. but truth is I’m not. But I’ll be happy and cheerful for the kids. I probably will enjoy myself.
Tonight I have a little more energy. I’m not sure why that is. Maybe it was the time I spent baking. Or the satisfaction of almost being caught up on the laundry. Maybe I’ll try to write up a book review, post my learning notes or something…. it seems that writing about it has helped, a little bit. It feels good to vent. Good to write stream of consciousness not worrying about form or content. This is what I have always loved about blogging, maybe what I’ve been missing of late: the spontaneity and the writing for the sake of writing. Maybe I need to just write more chatter posts.