I’ve got about five quilting projects gathering dust on my sewing table. Haven’t touched the machine since the end of last year when I had a brief pre-Christmas fling with a couple of quilt blocks for my virtual quilting bee. I’ve got more unwritten or partially written blog posts than I can count. So many books unread, emails unanswered, organizing projects half-done. And let’s not even talk about the unending tasks of running a house and tending small children: laundry, cooking, dishes, shopping, cleaning, diapers….

Right now I’m feeling incomplete. If I let myself stop to think about it I might be overwhelmed by the number of unfinished things in my life.

I think it started before Ben was born. Late pregnancy, things got put off. Then there was that newborn phase. And then just when that was easing off we all caught the Thanksgiving flu and then there was Christmas. And then we went to Texas and everyone got sick and then somehow Sophie and Ben never did seem to get back on track after that. Finally they were both diagnosed with ear infections. And then that seemed to settle down and now teething has hit. Both of them. At the same time. One thing after another. I’m sure I’m forgetting a few.

Thinking about my past in academia, there is one thing I’m nostalgic for and that is finishing a semester. Everything tied up neatly. The assignments are completed… or not. The grades are turned in. All is over and done with. A clean slate ready to start over fresh the next term. Ah, bliss.

I’m always telling myself there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Soon enough I’ll be able to find the time again for catching up. I’m starting to wonder who I’m fooling. Will things ever settle down and be like they were before Ben? Maybe that’s just wishful thinking and I should give up on the pipe dreams and settle into making do with the new normal. Maybe there just isn’t room in my life with three kids for quilting.

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