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I Laughed

I Laughed

Did you happen to catch Jen’s not-too-long-ago post at Conversion Diary where she told the story of tempting the poop fates?

It’s like in that movie The Ring where after you see the video you know it’s only a matter of time until freakishly terrible things start happening to you. I had laughed at another mother’s poop-related misfortune. My time was nigh.

Dom is convinced I must have laughed when I read it.  if that’s so, the poop fates must have been really slow in catching up. (Then again, reading the long list of comments to that post. I think the poop fates have been busy.)

Yeah. Sophie has been having some serious diaper rash recently. It started with one diaper that got left on far too long. And she’s got sensitive skin anyway. But I think after that she was so afraid of having her bottom wiped that she’d let her diaper stay on forever without telling us about it. Compound the problem with the sandbox that Dom recently filled int he back yard, Sophie’s new found love of sand and Bella’s fondness for pouring sand all over poor little Sophie. Yeah abrasive sand in an already ripe diaper is not a good thing. And perhaps there’s been a problem with her not having the most regulated diet recently as mama’s been a wee bit distracted. Sophie is usually a big cheese eater but for some reason in the past week she’s decided she doesn’t want cheese. And I’ve been too busy nursing the bottomless pit named Ben to argue the issue. Anyhow, it all adds up to one very red, very very very raw-bottomed 17 month old girl.

So tonight as on the past few nights the girls were covered in sand and t was bath time. Dom had bathed Sophie first and brought her out to get her dressed and she was protesting fiercely against having a diaper put on to her sore bottom. Bella was waiting to be bathed, Bene was nursing, I suggested that maybe Sophie should air dry for a few minutes while Bella bathed. It might help her bottom.

It was going fine for a while.  She was standing at my left elbow and I was reading her board books. Goodnight Moon, The Big Red Barn… We were laughing and lifting the flaps to find the duck and bunny and butterfly in Where is God when she said, “Uh-oh.” Not a good sign. I felt something wet on my arm and looked down to see a dirty hand moving away. Oh no, what was that? I looked down and in the few seconds I’d been distracted she’d let loose all over the living room rug. Uh-on indeed.

I yelled for Dom and he ran in grabbed Sophie and rushed her to the tub, after pulling a still-soapy and now crying Bella onto the bath mat. I plopped Bene into his swing and raced to wrap Bella in a towel. Then raced back to pick up the screaming baby and change his diaper. Then raced to stop a now-clean Sophie from grabbing the poop. Needless to say bedtime was rather delayed and a bit disorganized.

“Where’s Hallie when you need her?” Dom exclaimed as he came in from scrubbing the (white) living room carpet. “That settles it. We’re definitely renting a steam cleaner this week.”

Ah, vacation week! A daddy’s work is never done.

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4 comments
  • I’m so sorry the surgery was such an awful experience. After my first C-section I had similar horrible, intense pain radiating up my back and into my neck and shoulders. It was worse when I lay down, almost completely relieved if I sat up. I think it was something to do with the spinal or epidural—when they finally took the line out, the pain went away immediately. But those first few hours were horrible, and I remember finding it hard to concentrate on the baby at all. I sympathize—and I’m sorry!

  • Well they are limited in what they’re willing to give you for a c-section because prior to the baby’s birth anything they give you will be passed to the baby via the placenta. And afterward anything will be passed to the baby via breast milk. I’d really rather not be given a general anesthetic because I want to be alert and nursing my baby as soon as possible. And I guess I’m one of those people for whom the spinal is less effective or has wonky side effects.

    To be clear I was numb from the mid chest down so didn’t feel the actual incision exactly. The anesthesiologist checked by pricking me with a pin and I didn’t feel the pin on my belly after the spinal took effect. But I felt extreme pressure in my chest as they were manipulating the organs lower down. It’s a sort of echo effect as if your body is compensating for not feeling pain at the surgical site by feeling some other sensation elsewhere. To risk being too graphic, there’s something very unnatural about having one’s uterus outside one’s body cavity and that registers even through the pain medicine.

  • Ewww! I guess you are right, and the spinal just doesn’t agree with you. I had the opposite experience with my c-section (after two natural births), in that the operation itself was pain free and I had very little pain during recovery (only needed mild analgesia, the same dose I would take for a bad headache). An hour for the operation sounds long. If I remember rightly, mine was barely half that.

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