I did quite a bit of sewing this morning while Dom took Bella to Home Depot. This afternoon I helped him put soil into our raised beds. Hopefully we’ll be able to transfer the plants tomorrow. If it doesn’t rain too much. This evening my mother-in-law and sister-in-law brought over my nieces and nephew, who they’ve been babysitting while my brother- and sister-in-law take a little weekend getaway to Disney World. We made burgers on the grill and they brought cupcakes to celebrate Bella’s birthday. Fortunately the rain just drizzled a little bit before they got here and then blew away so we were able to eat outside. The kids all had a blast running and screaming and playing. Now I think I’m going to go back to my sewing table. I really want to get this baby quilt done before the baby gets here.
Melanie,
I think your post is beautiful and I’m so glad you took the time to write it and share your thoughts. If something I said was helpful to you, thanks be to God.
Over the past 13+ years of mothering and keeping a home I have fallen into despair about my abilities and shortcomings more times than I can count. But I think that if always having the strength to make things run smoothly and orderly were beneficial to my salvation, then God would have given that gift.
What I have found is that it is during these times, when we come to the end of ourselves, we find the humility to pray. And it’s only when we recognize our weakness that true prayer is possible. And then the conversation with God begins, the illness of our hearts is revealed (just a little bit…He is a merciful Physician), and the possibility of the healing or our person begins.
Oh, and I will email you back soon. We actually were at UD at the same time. Due to pregnant brain cell loss I wrote down the wrong dates. My husband was very irritated that I aged us so quickly.
With much love in Christ,
katherine
Melanie,
Wonderful post. Thank you.
Personally I don’t think keeping schedules is completely possible with only small children. General things, yes, but not a schedule schedule. Little ones simply don’t live by the clock so it becomes really hard for their stay-at-home moms to do so. I don’t have a “schedule.” I tried but it simply wasn’t going to happen with a 3 year old and a 1 year old. Throw pregnancy into the mix and I got a mess. And then I would get disappointed seeing all the things I didn’t get to or didn’t have time for. With little ones, if our lives are Apostates of Interruption, then exceptions to any rules are part of the program.
I really think it is too easy to be unreasonably hard on ourselves at this season because we are holding ourselves up against either our former selves when we did what we wanted and got things done without little ones interrupting or other moms who might have more help, have more experience, have older children to help, etc.
I set a goal of giving the house a thorough cleaning once a month and, generally, the girls end up helping but it is a broad enough goal that I usually succeed in it. But I know I’ll be giving birth next month, so I’m basically removing that goal for the month and instead will focus on other goals I simply haven’t gotten to that will not require such physical activity. I like the word “goal” better than “rule” because if I don’t make my goal one day, I can try to finish it another day and I haven’t “broken” anything.
I have found myself jealous recently of several moms. Moms with their own houses (we rent a 3 story townhouse and with baby #3 on the way and my dad living with us part time, space is getting scarce). Moms moving to more permanent circumstances (James has to finish his dissertation before he can get a full-time college teaching contract). etc. But I have to remind myself that God isn’t finished with us yet. He still has a lot in store for us and I am only asked to do the best I can with what He has given me here and now and I can look forward to the good things that await us without envying anyone else’s. I think that applies as well to the season of our life, whichever we are in. Even if it isn’t always the easiest thing to remember.
Anyway, thanks again for your post. Try not to be so hard on yourself. This is how God wants things to be right now and we just need to do the best we can and leave the rest to Him. Reminding myself of that helps me not to stress out too much too, especially now as this baby is beginning to really take over. (Cecilia is counting down to when the baby will be “out of mommy’s tummy” and mommy can “carry Cecilia like daddy.”) God Bless!