When we got back Sunday night we forgot to plug the baby monitor back in. And then Monday night we forgot again. And so it has gone every day since.
I’ve been sleeping in a little later. Isabella still wakes up and screams at around six and again around seven; but falls back asleep until after 8. Yesterday morning I actually went in and woke her up at 8:45 or so. She was so cute, lying flat on her stomach with both arms stretched along her sides. When I called her name she drew up her arms and pulled in her legs so her little bottom stuck up in the air. Then she started talking quietly and kept up a continuous stream of chatter as she sat up,
then stood up, then let me pick her up and change her diaper and dress her. She was in such a good mood and still took her usual nap, almost two hours long, that afternoon.
But this morning I woke up fully when she started crying around seven. It seemed like she’d been crying for a while so I went in to get her. She screamed and screamed while I changed her diaper and continued to howl for the next twenty minutes. Food wouldn’t console her nor water nor anything I could do. She cried when I tried to put her down and when I picked her up again. Finally, I
was so frustrated, I decided to put her back to bed to see if she’d cry herself back to sleep. She screamed angrily for five to ten minutes and then fell back asleep. And slept another hour and a half.
When she woke up after that she was in the sweetest mood. She chattered and smiled. She let me put her right in the high chair and ate a large breakfast while smiling and laughing and playing games. I guess I was right, she needed more sleep. But it was so hard to just put her back into the crib and close the door on her screams. Until she fell asleep I sat there wondering if I’d made the right decision.
And that’s how motherhood is. Day in and day out you’ve got to make the tough calls. Do I go in when she first starts crying or do I wait to see if she goes back to sleep? I’d been doubting my policy of letting her cry for a while before going in. Now I know that it was a good idea. She wasn’t really ready to get up. But it’s so hard to know and you don’t always get a clear confirmation like I got today. Most days you’ve just got to go with your gut and hope that everything works out ok.