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Wed Mar 31, 2010

In the Tomb with Jesus

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The other day Bella climbed down into the kneeler and declared, "I'm in the tomb with Jesus."

It came out of the blue and totally stunned me.

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She did it again later and this time Sophie joined her, both of them chanting, "I'm in the tomb with Jesus. I'm in the tomb with Jesus." After a moment, Bella rose and said, "Jesus isn't in the tomb anymore, let's go look at him on the cross." They ran off and I think they went to their bedroom and looked at the crucifix above Bella's bed.

They've repeated this several times in the past week.


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I had plans to try to do more this Lent with Bella. I've looked at the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd presentations and at the Stations of the Cross for children and I wanted to do both. But I haven't had the time to buy, find, or make make the materials necessary, even the most basic materials. And I don't have money to buy anything fancy and pre-made.

However, I did pull out the two Easter books I got last year. And while they've pretty much ignored The Easter Story by Brian Wildsmith-- I think we've read it once or twice-- Sophie especially-- and Bella to a lesser extent-- is fascinated by Easter by Fiona French (Note: there are two versions, one with words from the King James Bible, one with words from the RSV published by Ignatius Press). We've read it at least once a day, sometimes two or three times. And I guess it is sinking in.

Sophie loves to look at the pictures mostly. She's especially fascinated by the pictures of grapes on the end papers. She loves to look at the faces and palms on the entry to Jerusalem. She always points out the soldiers that arrest Jesus and that hold him bound before Pilate and that crown him with thorns. She points to them again and again, asking what they are. Maybe it's the helmets? We always pause at the crucifixion and she points to Jesus on the cross a couple of times, asking What's this? She loves the figures of the two Marys coming to the tomb. And the soldier guarding the tomb. What is it about the soldiers? And the figures of Mary and the Apostles at the Ascension.

Bella doesn't seem as obviously fascinated by the book; but she comes over and watches and listens. And like I said, it's definitely sinking in. I may not have done any elaborate lessons; but I have proclaimed the Gospel and that was enough to fire her imagination. As with the story of the Nativity at Christmas, she's taken care of the rest and has entered into the story on her own terms.


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This morning they were at it again. Serious play. They both crawled into the kneeler again, chanting both of them, "I'm in the tomb with Jesus. I'm in the tomb with Jesus. I'm in the tomb with Jesus. I'm in the tomb with Jesus." Two sweet little voices chanting.

Then, off to look at Jesus on the cross: Let's go see Jesus on the cross. Then, Let's go see his Mother. (Yes, her chronology is a bit off, Jesus on the cross always comes after being in the tomb. But she'll get that straight eventually.)


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And a new part of the game today. Bella says, Let's go see Jesus go up to Heaven. Look, he's going up to heaven to be with his Father. And the angels.

At another point Bella grabbed the plastic rosaries and went to the tomb to pray for Jesus. She knelt down and said some prayers. Sophie joined her, swinging the rosaries about. (Later, Sophie knelt down on her own and said a garbled Hail Mary.)

And then Bella declared, Jesus is risen! He is risen indeed!


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I've fallen down this Lent. All my plans turned to dust, ashes. I've failed to keep any of my intended sacrifices faithfully. I've joked that God's alternate plan for me seems to have been giving up sleep instead. Its only in the past two weeks that I've had any good nights. Most of the time it's been up at least every two hours, sometimes more frequently. I feel like I've especially failed to be the teacher I wanted to be for my girls.

And yet here we are in Holy Week. Once again I wonder how it can possibly come when I am so woefully unprepared. Yet it does. And here is this wonderful grace: "I am in the tomb with Jesus."

I hope I may linger for a time here in the tomb, contemplating how much I need this death so that I may rise with him on Easter morning. I am too full of myself. I have tried to do it all myself and my own strength is not sufficient to carry me down this path to death to self. And yet his grace is poured out on me anyway, unlooked for and undeserved. I am in the tomb with Jesus. I am in the tomb with Jesus. I am in the tomb with Jesus.


I have not taught them, they have taught me. Once again, the theme repeats itself: I must become like my children. I must listen to their voices and hear what wisdom comes out of the mouths of these babes: perfect praise.

I am in the tomb with Jesus.


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Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 31, 10 | 11:05 pm | Profile

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Tue Mar 30, 2010

No More Monkeys...

We were singing No more monkey this morning. Then I stopped singing to go make lunch. Bella made up her own version.

Bella's version:

(As transcribed by me. This is word for word)

There was two little girls jumping on the table. Their mother told them not to; but they kept doing it. They both fell off and cracked their heads open. Their mama called the doctor and the doctor said no more children jumping on the table. So their mama took the children to the doctor. He fixed their heads. Then the mother came back and she took the children back home. She told them not to jump on the table again. Then they listened and everything was better.


(This was not chanted to the same tune, by the way, it was narrated as one would tell a story.)
When Sophie tired to correct her that it was monkeys and bed, Bella just explained, "No, this is my version."

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 30, 10 | 12:32 pm | Profile

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Sun Mar 28, 2010

Looking on the Bright Side

The nice upside of the middle of the night leakage of the water filter last night (thank God I heard it dripping when I was up nursing Ben or it might have done some real damage overnight!) is that today we organized the coat closet.

Everything was already out all over the living room. Only things that actually belonged went back in. Some coats will be donated. Some things will find a new home. A few things will go out via Freecycle. And we have a plan for a coat rack and shoe rack for the kids' stuff. And for a small table or shelf by the door to organize incoming and outgoing mail.

And Dom now has firm plans to rent a carpet steamer. Oh when that door mat came up, the difference between the color of the carpet underneath! We knew the light colored carpet was going to be the bane of our existence when we bought this house.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 28, 10 | 11:18 pm | Profile

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This Week in Pictures

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Snuggling sisters. Bella and Sophie love to pretend to sleep on the couch. Bella would love Sophie to sleep in her bed with her at night too. Sophie thinks that's a great idea... up until bedtime.


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Sophie sits in Bella's lap. "She's cuddling with me," Bella says.


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Dolly is ready for an outing. I love the bags hung over the stroller handles!


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Ben helps to clean the floor.


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Bella made these adorable houses out of blocks. "This one is mine. This one is Sophie's. This one is Daddy's. This one is Ben's. This one is Mama's. This one is Tree's. This one is Gina's." (Counting isn't her strong suit yet.)


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On Thursday the weather was wonderfully springy. The girls and I sat outside and I sketched the crocuses and daffodils while Ben napped. I was rather pleased with the way this daffodil came out. Then on Friday it got cold and snowed.


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Sophie continues to be fascinated with all small electronics. I'm constantly finding her at my keyboard, on my cellphone, my iPod. And I found another series of photos on the camera. And a nice big smudge on the lens too.


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I couldn't resist these purple tulips at Home Depot.


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Don't they just scream spring?


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Bella masters the art of cutting with scissors.


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She went through an entire pack of construction paper today.


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I used some of her scraps to make a collage.


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Sophie continues to be the cutest little thing in sunglasses.


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Today she insisted on wearing Bella's coat.


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The funny thing is the earpieces of the glasses tickle the sides of her face and she laughs and laughs when she wants me to put them on her.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 28, 10 | 10:54 pm | Profile

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Hosanna Filio David

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Hosanna Filio David, Benedictus qui venit in nomine Domini. Rex Israel: Hosanna in excelsis.



Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 28, 10 | 1:56 pm | Profile

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Sat Mar 27, 2010

Lois Ehlert



Uh-oh.
Door's left open,
just a crack.

My cat is out
and he won't
come back!


We discovered Lois Ehlert when librarian Miss E. read Feathers for Lunch at our library's story time. It's a simple little story about a cat who gets out and tries to eat the various backyard birds:
He's snooping and sneaking--those birds sure look good.
If he could catch one, he'd eat it, he would!

Unfortunately for him, his bell sounds a warning and the birds all get away, leaving him with only a mouthful of feathers.

What I love about this book are the gorgeous collage illustrations. They are bright and colorful and the birds aren't generic birds, but realistic, recognizable species-- 12 of them: cardinal, oriole, red-winged blackbird, blue jay, robin, mourning dove, hummingbird, goldfinch, sparrow, wren, flicker, woodpecker. All are actual size and are shown with their distinctive calls. The red-winged blackbird says "O-ka-lee, o-ka-lee". The cardinal says "What cheer cheer cheer". Most of these birds are already familiar to me and to the girls from our backyard birdwatching.

Additionally, all of the plants and flowers are recognizable (and labeled): geraniums, tomato plants, forsythia, tulips, apple-tree branches.

At the end of the book there is more information about the various birds: size, food, home (eg: gardens, parks, suburban shade trees, open woodlands, etc), area (eg: eastern United States).





Waiting for Wings is a treasure we just found at the library last week. My girls both love butterflies (what little girls don't?) especially because of the butterfly song that Dom used to sing for Bella when he was doing her hair at night and which I have since taken over as part of my lullaby repertoire.

This beautiful tale told in a series of collages tells the story of the life cycle of a butterfly from egg to caterpillar to chrysalis to adult butterflies who lay eggs again. I love that the pages are cut in different sizes. (I'm not sure I can explain that; but it's a neat effect.)

I also really like that the story doesn't take the kind of flight of fancy that Eric Carle's Very Hungry Caterpillar takes with eating the cupcakes and sausages et al. It probably says a lot about me that I get annoyed at details like that and like the seeds that fly too high and burn up in The Tiny Seed. I want books that seem to present realistic life cycles of plants and animals to actually get the facts right. Ehlert does.

As with Feathers for Lunch, there is a sort of appendix section with more identifying details. In this case with information about the four butterfly species featured (the kind of leaves they eat, what their caterpillar, chrysalis and adult forms look like), with information about butterflies including labels of the various body parts, with identifications of the various species of flowers that appear in the book, and with information about how to grow a butterfly garden. I could use this book to help my girls learn about the butterflies we'll be seeing in our yard this summer and to begin their journey to becoming little naturalists.



Other Ehlert titles we've also enjoyed:




Red Leaf, Yellow Leaf, which follows a Sugar Maple tree from seed to seedling in the forest to plant at a nursery to a garden center where the narrator and narrator's dad buy it and take it home to plant. Collages are beautiful and I like the child's-eye views.





Planting a Rainbow in which a child narrator and mom plant a garden from seeds, bulbs and seedlings.





Eating the Alphabet, a fun alphabet book that goes well beyond apples and apricots.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 27, 10 | 10:20 pm | Profile

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Fri Mar 26, 2010

7 8 Quick Takes

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--1--

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Tonight Ben had the best meal of solid food he's had yet. I couldn't believe how much he ate.

Just look at that smile! He's super happy because I gave him the wet washcloth after I washed his hands and face.


--2--

Bella has never really been a very cuddly child. She tends to be a quick hugger and then run off to play. And she doesn't often volunteer to hug me either. But this week she's suddenly started showing me extra affection. Several times she's popped up at my side in the middle of dinner just to give me a hug. And yesterday afternoon she walked up to my chair during naptime holding her blanket and a book and asked to cuddle with me. She climbed into my lap and sat reading her book while I finished saying my Office of Readings.

Today she again climbed into my lap during naptime and promptly fell asleep. I fell asleep too and we had a nice long snuggle until Ben woke up and I had to go get him. I felt so bad having to put Bella down on the couch. Especially since she woke up and couldn't get back to sleep.


--3--

Yesterday afternoon I spotted Sophie and Bella playing in the dining room. Sophie was sitting in a chair in front of the bookcase and Bella was standing in front of her, touching the spines of one book after another. Bella was evidently pretending to show Sophie some of their favorite You Tube videos.


--4--

I love the fact that both girls close the kitchen drawers with their feet... Just like their mama does.


--5--

The other day Sophie and Ben were sitting on my lap in the chair while I was reading my email. She was eating an organic Cheerios knockoff. I looked down to see that she was also feeding them to him. Well, what could I do at that point, he'd already had a few. I declared it his new food of the day and hoped he didn't have a wheat allergy. He was fine.


--6--

Yesterday I remembered too late that it was a feast day. I realized that I could have eaten one of Bella's Junior Mints after all when I was trying not to drool while watching her eat them.

Then I remembered that there was some homemade vanilla ice cream in the freezer. So I was able to feast after all.


--7--

This afternoon Bella wore a pink ballet skirt and her black Mary Janes and told me she wanted me to play her some dancing music. I put on the Chieftans and she began singing and dancing. Joy! Sophie started singing and dancing too. Can I tell you how much I love my girls.


--8--

I just thought of one more quick take. This afternoon when I lit some candles on my prayer shelf to help me remember to pray for a special intention Bella stopped and sang out loudly: Jesus is the light of the world!

Visit Jennifer at Conversion Diary for more quick takes.


Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 26, 10 | 9:56 pm | Profile

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Wed Mar 24, 2010

Organization Fail

I just found the bag of 18-month clothing that I couldn't find last fall. I thought I'd looked everywhere and was so frustrated. Eventually I pulled out some 2T stuff and Sophie sort of made do with a patchwork wardrobe of slightly too short pants and slightly too long shirts.

Now I've found it. Tucked up on the top shelf of their closet in what I thought was a bag of toys. Most of the stuff in the bag is too small and I'm sad because I never got to see Sophie in some of my favorite of Bella's outgrown clothing. Guess this is another opportunity to practice detachment.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 24, 10 | 5:45 pm | Profile

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Childhood Treasures

If I had my way all the kid's toys would be wooden or cloth and handmade. I'm just old-fashioned, I suppose. I probably spent too much time reading the Little House books and Anne of Green Gables. My imagination lives in a world before the invention of plastic.

Of course, I've made the necessary compromises. I realize I live in the real world and have welcomed a variety of toys into our home. Still, my heart leaps when I find little wooden treasures. Especially when they fall into my hands unlooked for.

There's a used furniture store next door to the post office. From the outside it looks quite unappealing and the faded signs don't inspire. Our home doesn't have any room for more furniture or more knick knacks and so far I've resisted the temptation. Still, every time I go to drop something in the mail, it catches my eye and I think I've got to go in there some day.

Well, today some day arrived. I'd just shipped off a box of used books to a charity that provides books for prisons (hooray for Book Mooch, hooray for educating prisoners and hooray for getting rid of unwanted textbooks!). And it just seemed right to turn my stroller to the left and head next door.

I was quite surprised by the quality of the used furniture and the reasonable prices. There were quite a few pieces that I would have considered adding to my home if I had the space.

And then there was this that caught my eye:

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A little wooden doll cradle. I've been wanting to get one for Isabella for some time now. I even priced them on eBay; but they were all a little too much. This one was only $10. I scooped it up so quick you'd have thought we were in the toy aisle on Christmas Eve. I almost glanced over my shoulder to make sure no one else was going to claim it. It would look very nice if it were refinished; but Bella's eyes don't see that. They like it just the way it is. It will look so adorable once I sew a little patchwork pillow and quilt for the dollies, don't you think?

And then this caught Bella's eye. A treasure that I would not have noticed.

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"Mama! A dresser for a dolly!" At $2 I absolutely had to get it for her.

The funny thing is I've been thinking about all the scattered doll clothes. I'm constantly picking them up an searching for a place to quickly tidy them up at bed time. I knew I needed to find a solution, a permanent place for them to go. Yet somehow a plastic box didn't seem right. I knew the girls would never remember to put the clothes away. How nice it would be if we had some sort of dresser for them. I'd even thought about getting some plastic drawers; but even that didn't seem quite right. This little wooden jewelry box is perfect. Like the cradle, it could stand to be refinished. But then again, Bella doesn't seem to mind. As soon as we got home, she carried it to her room and hunted up all the scattered doll clothes and stuffed them carefully into the drawers.

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I'm pretty proud of our finds. Not bad for $12. And I know we'll be stopping back in next time we go to the post office.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 24, 10 | 2:00 pm | Profile

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Tue Mar 23, 2010

A Day of Graces

On Sunday we finally got to meet my new niece, Zelie Marguerite. And we celebrated her reception into the church as she was baptized during the morning Mass at St Adelaide's in Peabody.

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She is so beautiful. I am in love with those wide eyes and delicate features. She reminds me so much of my own girls as babies. Cradling all eight pounds of her, I felt like I was hardly holding anything. I am so used to my twenty-something pound not-so-little baby.

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Here she is being held by Fr. David after Mass. That's her mother, my sister-in-law Evelyn and her big brother, Josh.

We had the privilege of meeting Fr David when he was a seminarian at Immaculate Conception in Salem and attended his very first Mass. My sister- and brother-in-law are lucky to have him at their parish.


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Father David invited all the children to come up during the baptism. He gave a wonderful catechesis on the sacrament. Bella stood in the front and stared out at the children in the congregation except during the actual pouring of the water. Still, she was very cute.


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St Adelaide's had many beautiful statues. We took the girls on a tour after Mass.


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I especially loved this Lady of Mount Carmel.

Father David predicted that baby Zelie, with her two Carmelite names, will be a Carmelite. (Wishful thinking on his part perhaps as he himself is a Carmelite.)


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Sophie and her cousin, Cecilia. I think they look very alike.


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We ended the day back home with burgers on the grill.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 23, 10 | 4:53 pm | Profile

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Pieta, An Early Morning Reflection

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Some time ago I read a meditation somewhere on motherhood and Michelangelo's Pieta. It was by a mother who was, if I recall correctly, enjoying that wonderful stage of parenting a newborn, spending hours cuddling her little baby and pressing her nose into the sweet-smelling head. She said something to the effect that the Pieta struck her as being a little wrong because Mary, she thought, would have at that moment remembered Jesus as a baby. She would have remembered those moments of putting her face down and smelling the tiny head, that joyful closeness of mother and child. And she would have been unable to resist pressing him close in just that way one last time. No mother, she said, would hold her precious child as Michelangelo's Mary does in that stiff formal pose. (I wish I could recall where I saw the original of this. I'm afraid I'm misremembering and doing the original author an injustice. this is just my best effort at reconstructing a hazy memory.)

Those words came to me early this morning as I tried to nurse a fussy Ben back to sleep. There is indeed something to what that mother says. It would have been a lovely statue had Michelangelo chosen to portray that moment of the older mother remembering the baby in the stable and tenderly pressing her face to his. But the sculptor has chosen a different moment and I think perhaps a better one... at least in terms of theology if not in terms of capturing the humanity of the Blessed Mother.

But before I explain what I see in Michelangelo's Pieta, let me say that Mary's pose still does speak to me as a mother because I do see in the tender way she holds his body the way I hold my baby when he is so limp, so deeply asleep he hardly knows he is in my arms. But it is evident that while there is a hint of that, Michelangelo was thinking along different lines when he composed this statue. For as her right hand holds his body, her left hand is outstretched to present him to the viewer.

First, as I look at this statue I do actually see that young mother of the stable, of Nazareth, though not in her pose so much as in her face. Just look at it: Michelangelo depicts the smooth, sweet features of a young woman, more the maiden of the Annunciation or of the Nativity rather than the careworn visage of the much older Lady of Sorrows who has accompanied her Son on his via dolorosa and watched him die as she stood at the foot of the cross.

Instead, the juxtaposition of the young face with Mary's pose speaks to me of the young woman who said to the angel: Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done to me according to your word. This woman holding the lifeless body of her son knows the man she hold is not only her precious baby, He is something more. No, she is the woman who pondered these things in her heart. She is the woman who told the servants: Do whatever he tells you. She is the woman who presents her son to us and echoes his words, those other words she must also have pondered: Take, eat. For the body she holds was not given for her only but for all of us.


photo credit: Sebastian Bergmann


Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 23, 10 | 1:42 am | Profile

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Mon Mar 22, 2010

A Dash of Mommy Guilt with Your Morning Coffee?

This is an example of why I abhor parenting "experts": In yesterday's paper a column called Ask Nanny Yvonne... an expectant mother writes in asking for general advice on preventing issues from arising with her soon to be born child.

In Nanny Yvonne's response among other things she says: "Again apart from the basics, if you make sure your child feels secure and loved, a lot of problems such as sleep issues will disappear."

While I agree with the basic sentiment that the most important thing is to make a child feel secure and loved, I really hate the implication that if your child has sleep issues, they must not feel secure and loved. Perhaps Nanny Yvonne didn't intend to say that; but still lurks in her words and I know I'm not the only mom with a poorly sleeping baby whose heart will sink on reading those words.

I know better. I know that there are many, many reasons a child might not sleep at night. One of them is indeed a feeling of insecurity; but it is by no means the only one. I know that my children feel secure and loved. And yet I do have my insecurities and they don't need encouragement by thoughtless experts.


Worse, I can imagine the mother who reading that column does not know better. I can imagine her guilt consuming her: My baby won't sleep therefore I must be a bad mother. She doesn't feel loved. I have failed her.

I know I am not perfect. But I do my best. And I know that my children's sleep issues will not disappear if I just work a little harder to make them feel loved and secure. Yet at three am when I am exhausted and frustrated... the doubts whisper in my ear. Please, please, Nanny Yvonne, don't feed them.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 22, 10 | 9:37 am | Profile

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Sun Mar 21, 2010

An Experiment

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Today at my sister-in-law's house Ben fell asleep while nursing. I really wanted to hold my new niece so I let my sister-in-law talk me into trying to put him down in the toddler bed. He slept for more than an our (and I got to hold the sweetest little baby!).

Emboldened by that success, I decided to try to put him down in the office in the portacrib tonight. He's been sleeping in the bassinet in our room and co-sleeping with me after I go to bed; but the waking every two hours or so is starting to really get to me. So though he's never been in the portacrib before I feel it's worth a shot.

I nursed him down to sleep around 8 and then laid him down. He woke as I put him down but went back to sleep within five or ten minutes. He slept for two hours and then I nursed him down again. This time he fell back asleep quickly and didn't stir when I laid him in the portacrib.

So we'll see how this goes. I'm hopeful that not being so near to me he might sleep for a little longer stretch. It's at least worth a try.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 21, 10 | 10:10 pm | Profile

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Fri Mar 19, 2010

7 Quick Takes

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1. Happy feast of St Joseph! I successfully took all three children to daily Mass this morning all by myself.

It's our parish's feast day and they were having a special Mass. For some reason when Father announced it on Sunday, I decided that I wanted to go. It seemed crazy even to me to think that I could take all three kids by myself when Dom and I can barely manage them together on a Sunday. But I decided to at least give it a try, with no expectations about staying for all of Mass.

The children were wonderful. Oh the girls did have an argument over the saint book. But Bella just whined quietly and I doubt anyone except the people immediately behind us could hear her. Ben did make some noises which distracted some of the schoolkids in the pews in front of us. But he wasn't screaming, just fussing a bit. He eventually fell asleep on my shoulder.

I had some flashbacks to my own days as a parochial student, wearing green plaid jumpers.

It was a great experience and I look forward to trying it again sometime.


2. Speaking of Ben and fussing. He's been super cranky today. He wouldn't go down to sleep at all. Wouldn't let me put him down. Only wanted to be held and held and held.

Doesn't it figure? Just when we started to get him to a point where he was sleeping at night, he becomes mysteriously sick. I took him to the pediatrician today just to make sure it isn't the ear infection returned. But his ears are clear. Must be teething. Or a virus. Bella had a fever a couple of days last week and was sleeping a bunch.

Oh well, you take what you can get. The girls both slept through the night the past two nights. So at least I feel like we've got some positive progress on the sleep front.


3. Jen in her quick takes this week mentioned that it seems that God has predetermined the amount and type of penance you need to do during Lent, and he will present you with opportunities to do so, whether or not you signed up for it. How true that is. I keep running up against this idea that somehow this Lent I'm giving up sleep. As if somehow the lesson I'm supposed to learn is detachment from my perceived need for sleep.

Maybe it has something to do with praying for God to help me grow in the patience this Lent. Few things try one's patience more than chronic sleep deprivation coupled with sick, whiny, needy children. Yeah, pray for help in developing a virtue and you find yourself presented with an abundance of opportunities to practice that virtue.


4. The other day Bella and Sophie were playing outside before supper. Bella came in and announced that Sophie had hurt herself. Dom and I asked, How?

Bella answered, Someone was playing poka-poka.

Us: Someone?

Bella: One of her friends.

Note: there were no other kids outside with them.

Today I looked at Sophie's foot and saw several scratches across the top. They looked a little red and puffy.

What happened to your foot? I asked.

Bella B. was playing poka-poka, she explained.

I went and had another talk with Bella about not poking people with sticks.


5. This past weekend we had four solid days of rain. There was flooding all over the state. We were lucky to get away with a little leaking on the roof an a swampy yard.

At one point Bella gazed out at our flooded backyard and declared that it looked like the tide was coming in. She and Sophie then played beach in the kitchen.


6. This week I came to terms with the fact that it is time to admit that our Hoover is dead. We got it right around the time we were married, so it is almost five years old. Sadly, the process of vacuuming now makes me feel moderately better because I feel like I'm at least trying to do something about the dirt; but the carpets really look no cleaner afterwards. Curse you, (formerly)
white carpets!


7. If you Google "16 weeks", Bella's sonagram is the 4th image result. That's kind of cool.



Visit Jennifer at Conversion Diary for more quick takes.



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Read the rest of the entry...

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 19, 10 | 9:53 pm | Profile

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Thu Mar 18, 2010

Head for the Hills

Yesterday the kids and I took a little drive and met my friend and former roommate, Meghan for a walk at the Blue Hills Reservation. I got to meet Meghan's sweet little William, just 8 weeks old.

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The plan was to stroll around Houghton's Pond and then I'd brought a picnic lunch for my brood. Unfortunately there was construction and we couldn't actually do the pond loop. So we just went back and forth down the road until Ben fell asleep. Then we went and sat on a bench in the playground area (Bella was thrilled there was a playground) and talked babies while the girls played.

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You know I think this is the first time I've ever spent time with a peer of mine where I was the older, experienced mom. It was a funny feeling. It made me realize I've learned a few things over the past almost-four years. I remember what it was like when I just had Bella. How new and scary it all was. It's not that it's easier now; but at least I'm no longer afraid of breaking the baby.

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It took Sophie almost all the time we were there before she got comfortable enough to leave my side and climb over the playscape by herself. It seemed odd to me because last fall she was so independent. But I guess it's been months and months since we were last at a playground and she needed time to get back to that comfort level.

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I suspect next time she'll just run off on her own with no preliminary hesitation.

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After a few trips down the slide where I had to be there in case she fell, she did a few runs all on her own.

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Bella, on the other hand, couldn't be more independent. She spent much of the time on the far side of the playground watching other groups of children.

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She even inserted herself into a game of Duck, Duck, Goose that another mother was organizing. I got the sense that all those moms and kids came together as a group. But of course that wouldn't deter Bella. She must have introduced herself for I heard the other mom calling her Isabella.

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Sophie stood next to the fence and watched Bella playing with the other big kids. She didn't at all seem disturbed by Bella's desertion.

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At one point Bella came running, screaming to me, tears streaming down her face. When I got her calmed down enough that I understood her, she gasped, "I want to play with the stick!"

Did one of the other children take the stick she'd been using? No, someone else! I supposed that to mean another mother. So I thought quickly on my feet. I had no idea whether Bella had taken a swing at another child and had the stick confiscated or if she'd just made the mother uncomfortable or they just thought on principle that small children shouldn't have sticks. So I just told her that different people have different rules and that if the rule for that group was no playing with sticks, then if she wanted to play with those kids she'd have to not have a stick. If, on the other hand, she really wanted to play with her stick, she could bring it over to where I was.

"I want to chop the tree with the stick!"

"Well, you can chop this tree over here."

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And so she went away and came back triumphantly (and perhaps a bit defiantly) carrying her stick. And proceeded to whack at the tree with it. Whereupon Sophie joined her and grabbed a stick and took some whacks at the fence. And then they spent some time planting smaller sticks upright in the ground. Making a garden Bella said.

My friend Meghan wondered at how little time the various children spent actually playing on the playground equipment. I think it's mainly the age and perhaps the temperament of this group of children. Older kids do actually play on these structures, I opined. But it is true. As much as my kids like playgrounds, they can spend an awful lot of time not actually playing on the equipment. Rocks and sticks are really just as good.

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Ben did enjoy a brief stint sitting on the ground and experimenting with the taste and texture of leaves and wood chips. But mostly he slept in the stroller and sat in my lap.

At one point Meghan was nursing William and I was nursing Ben and an older woman with long gray hair in a ponytail came up and enthusiastically thanked us. For nursing our children. Because not enough mothers do it nowadays.

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After almost four hours of hard play in the sun and fresh air, all three of my children fell asleep in the car on the way home.


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How sweet it is!

Except that Bella had to be woken up to get her out of the carseat.

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Sophie happily snores away, cheeks stained with peanut butter and blueberry jam.


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Even Ben snoozed. He woke up when I tried to transfer him to his bassinet. And then slept from four till ten. And then was up most of the rest of the night. I think he had a low fever, poor baby.


Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 18, 10 | 9:24 pm | Profile

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Breaking and Entering and Engagement Rings

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Five years ago today Dom knelt down on my kitchen floor and presented me with a diamond ring... after boosting me through my roommate's small bedroom window.

We'd been engaged for a week or so; but we'd done things out of order and agreed on a wedding date before Dom gave me the ring. He had planned to give it to me after daily Mass, which we were in the habit of attending together at that time. But then I found myself locked out of my apartment and without my cell phone to boot. I had to walk down to the grocery store a few blocks away to call him on his cell phone (fortunately he hadn't yet gone into the church and turned it off.)

My knight in shining armor came to my rescue and oh was I ever so grateful. I was embarrassed enough at my mistake; good thing I had no idea I was destroying his grand scheme in my ditzy forgetfulness.

Anyway, you can read Dom's account of it: the ring. (And isn't it sweet that he has his google calendar set up to email him a reminder of this anniversary every year so we can once again relive the moment?)

Also I'm making a note to take it to get the diamond reset. I haven't worn it for about a year because one of the prongs is loose and I don't want to loose it.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 18, 10 | 3:41 pm | Profile

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Tue Mar 16, 2010

Today in Pictures

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Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 16, 10 | 11:26 pm | Profile

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Sun Mar 14, 2010

As at Meribah and Massah

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Excess of water. Our yard, flooded with all the spring rains we've been having.


Every morning in the Invitatory Psalm we pray:

Do not harden your hearts as at Meribah,
as on the day of Massah in the desert.
There your ancestors tested me;
they tried me though they had seen my works.


Of course I know the story of Meribah and Massah (Hebrew words meaning respectively, "the (place of the) test," and, "the (place of the) quarreling.") as told in Exodus 17:
From the desert of Sin the whole Israelite community journeyed by stages, as the LORD directed, and encamped at Rephidim. Here there was no water for the people to drink.

They quarreled, therefore, with Moses and said, "Give us water to drink." Moses replied, "Why do you quarrel with me? Why do you put the LORD to a test?"

Here, then, in their thirst for water, the people grumbled against Moses, saying, "Why did you ever make us leave Egypt? Was it just to have us die here of thirst with our children and our livestock?"


I know the story, and yet it is easy to read the psalm day in and day out and lose sight of the story. So on Friday when it was the Mass reading for the day it seemed new again and for the first time ever I wondered: What is it that the Israelites were supposed to do instead of grumbling? What is the positive counterpart to their negative grumbling and complaining?

‘Why did you bring us out of Egypt?’ they said. ‘Was it so that I should die of thirst, my children too, and my cattle?’

First, I think they were supposed to remember gratitude. Thank you, God, for delivering us from slavery in Egypt. And they should have trusted that the God who brought them out of Egypt would not let them die of thirst. Finally, they should have asked God to send them water. Give us this day our daily bread. (And water)

Mother Church draws this lesson for us (and then takes it a step further) by pairing this reading with the Gospel story of the Samaritan woman at the well.

Jesus replied:
‘Whoever drinks this water
will get thirsty again;
but anyone who drinks the water that I shall give
will never be thirsty again:
the water that I shall give
will turn into a spring inside him,
welling up to eternal life.’

‘Sir,’ said the woman ‘give me some of that water, so that I may never get thirsty and never have to come here again to draw water.’


Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 14, 10 | 11:21 am | Profile

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Sat Mar 13, 2010

How to Perform Acts of Mercy and Kindness

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From a sermon by Saint Gregory Nazianzen


Blessed are the merciful, because they shall obtain mercy, says the Scripture. Mercy is not the least of the beatitudes. Again: Blessed is he who is considerate to the needy and the poor. Once more: Generous is the man who is merciful and lends. In another place: All day the just man is merciful and lends. Let us lay hold of this blessing, let us earn the name of being considerate, let us be generous.

Not even night should interrupt you in your duty of mercy. Do not say: Come back and I will give you something tomorrow. There should be no delay between your intention and your good deed. Generosity is the one thing that cannot admit of delay.

Share your bread with the hungry, and bring the needy and the homeless into your house, with a joyful and eager heart. He who does acts of mercy should do so with cheerfulness. The grace of a good deed is doubled when it is done with promptness and speed. What is given with a bad grace or against one’s will is distasteful and far from praiseworthy.

When we perform an act of kindness we should rejoice and not be sad about it. If you undo the shackles and the thongs, says Isaiah, that is, if you do away with miserliness and counting the cost, with hesitation and grumbling, what will be the result? Something great and wonderful! What a marvellous reward there will be: Your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will rise up quickly. Who would not aspire to light and healing.

If you think that I have something to say, servants of Christ, his brethren and co-heirs, let us visit Christ whenever we may; let us care for him, feed him, clothe him, welcome him, honour him, not only at a meal, as some have done, or by anointing him, as Mary did, or only by lending him a tomb, like Joseph of Arimathaea, or by arranging for his burial, like Nicodemus, who loved Christ half-heartedly, or by giving him gold, frankincense and myrrh, like the Magi before all these others. The Lord of all asks for mercy, not sacrifice, and mercy is greater than myriads of fattened lambs. Let us then show him mercy in the persons of the poor and those who today are lying on the ground, so that when we come to leave this world they may receive us into everlasting dwelling places, in Christ our Lord himself, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.


from today's Office of Readings


There should be no delay between your intention and your good deed. Generosity is the one thing that cannot admit of delay.

You mean no "Just a minute, let me just finish reading/ writing this blog post"?


He who does acts of mercy should do so with cheerfulness. The grace of a good deed is doubled when it is done with promptness and speed. What is given with a bad grace or against one’s will is distasteful and far from praiseworthy.

You mean I shouldn't grumble when asked to read Katy No-Pocket for the fifth time. Smile and read it with as much feeling as I did the first time.


If you undo the shackles and the thongs, says Isaiah, that is, if you do away with miserliness and counting the cost, with hesitation and grumbling, what will be the result? Something great and wonderful! What a marvellous reward there will be: Your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will rise up quickly. Who would not aspire to light and healing.


I love that he explicates exactly what those shackles and thongs are: miserliness and counting the cost. Sometimes I really need someone to spell it out for me.

Yeah, why don't I aspire to light and healing? Why do I cling to my miserly ways?

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 13, 10 | 10:58 pm | Profile

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Health, Sleep Updates

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I write these little updates as much for myself, to keep a record, to have it straight in my head, to think things through. But I suppose other people like looking over my shoulder and feeling they aren't alone in fighting the sleep battles and illnesses. And I'll throw in some cute pictures I took this morning before the kids got dressed.


Health

It continues to be a roller coaster ride. It feels like we've never really all been well since we had the flu last fall.

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Ben

Last Saturday and Sunday nights Ben woke in the middle of the night with a fever. So Monday we took him to the doctor and it turned out that he has an ear infection too. So now he's taking Amoxycillan too. And it doesn't seem to be sitting well on his stomach, poor guy. He's had diarrhea the past few days and diaper rash to go with it.


Sophie

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On Thursday Sophie had her two-year checkup. She has grown two inches since her 18 month visit. The doctor was very tickled to hear that she loves curry.


Bella

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Thursday night Bella declared at 6 pm that she was tired. She went and got her pajamas on and brushed her teeth all by herself and she crawled into bed and was out before we'd even begun bedtime prayers. She's been sleepy every day since then, taking naps and wanting to go to bed early.

Today after she came back from Home Depot with Dom she grabbed her pillow and quilt and camped out on the laundry room floor and went to sleep. (When I asked why the laundry room rather than the living room or the office she replied, "It's perfect." When I asked why it was perfect she explained that the living room is noisy with people talking and things beeping.

When she woke up from her nap she was running a fever so I gave her some Ibuprofen. She perked up after that. But still put on her pajamas on her own wih no prompting and was asleep before 8.



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Sleep:

Tonight: all three children were in bed, asleep at 8pm. This is unheard of. I don't know what to do with myself.

On Tuesday night I was tired and a little desperate. After nursing Ben for a while he was done and obviously tired and yet not going to sleep. I put him down in his bed and closed the door all but a crack and went to the bathroom. He cried for less than five minutes and then went to sleep. And slept until after I'd gone to bed. Wednesday night I put him down awake again and he cried for less than a minute. Thursday night and Friday night he cried until I shut the door and then was quiet.

He's still waking up within a half-hour of my going to bed. And is up and down every hour or two thereafter. I think he will probably do that as long as he is in the same room as me. I wish he'd give me at least three hours of sleep at a stretch, I'm feeling the frequent wake ups; but at least I have my evenings free again to spend time with Dom, to write and read and maybe watch a tv show or two.

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I've also started putting Ben down for naps while he's still awake. That's been as successful as at night. He's taken several two-hour naps in the past few days. Oh it's been nice. This afternoon we were able to move the refrigerator and clean behind it and underneath it. (For the first time since we bought it in November of 08 when we moved in.)

After a run of several nights in a row with no wake ups, the girls have gone back to waking up once or twice or three times a night. Last night Bella was so tired she forgot to use the bathroom before bed and so she had an overflowing pull up and wet sheets. She's also still getting Dom up to help her find lost sippy cups and pillows. So today at Home Depot he got her a little nightlight with a switch on it and plugged it in at the head of her bed so that she can turn it on when she can't find an object in her bed. Of course, she turned it on tonight because she couldn't find her tissue while I was still trying to get Sophie to fall asleep. It may not be such a brilliant solution to the problem if it wakes Sophie up or keeps her from falling asleep.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 13, 10 | 8:38 pm | Profile

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Fri Mar 12, 2010

More Questions about Toddlers and Books

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Ok here we go with the rest of my thoughts on toddlers and books. (Part one is here). It's been two months but I've been distracted and having a hard time pulling my thoughts together. Finally, I decided to just publish what I have and let the rest go.


How do I make the most of my time at the library

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You may remember that among other questions about toddlers and books, Lucy asked about how to find good books at the library while also minding the wandering children.

First, does your library have a web page? Mine does. With my library card and a pin number, I can log on and browse their collection from the comfort of my living room. I can also place books on hold not only from my library's collection but from any of the libraries in the network. And I can place interlibrary loan requests from any library in the state. The library emails me or calls me when they come in and I have a week to pick them up.


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So when we go to the library for our weekly story time, I can spend the time riding herd on my three kiddos and keeping them out of trouble. Then when we go to check out there is a pile of books waiting for me behind the desk which I have pre-selected. (Oh and can I mention how much I love our librarians? They know us by sight, know all the kids' names, even Ben's, and usually pull my hold books out before I even present my library card.)

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Another thing I do is I generally let both of the girls amass a huge pile of books on a table and then right before we go I triage and grab a few that look most likely. Because there were so many in the pile, they don't notice and don't remember the ones that get left behind.

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So I suppose that then begs the question: What books do I reserve?

I get my ideas for picture books to reserve from so many sources, it's hard to list them all but here goes....

I have quite a few favorite bloggers who frequently write about books they have enjoyed.

Love2learn.net is always a favorite resource of mine (I'm a sometime contributor but I love all the reviewers there). You can subscribe to their RSS and be informed any time a new review is posted. And then there is Ana's picture book of the week at the Love2Learn blog.

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The lovely Sarah of This Heavenly Life, whose girls are about Bella's and Sophie's ages, has a regular feature highlighting their favorite library picks-- and she's got a Mr. Linky so other moms can join in with their own blog posts.

I love trolling Elizabeth Foss's sidebars and scooping up suggestions from her seasonal book baskets.


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Likewise Melissa Wiley, who always has her finger on the pulse of the kid lit world. I've spent so much time scouring her blog archives looking at her excellent suggestions.

I recently discovered Little Lamb Books, a treasure trove or reviews by Margaret Perry, who seems to be a kindred spirit, a lover of books. She doesn't have children of her own; but she has very discriminating taste and an eye for beauty and also adds very helpful disclaimers about questionable content.

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Cay Gibson's Cajun Cottage is a wonderful bookish place. (And I love her Picture Perfect Childhood and Catholic Mosaic books as resources for finding more, more and more picture books.)

And check out this discussion at Faith and Family Live in which Arwen begs for picture book suggestions and readers pitch in with their favorites.

Finally, Amy Welborn at Charlotte Was Both occasionally writes about picture books she gets for her boys. She's been rather quiet of late; but maybe once they finish moving into their new house I can hope for more posts about books.

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One final thought on choosing picture books: Don't feel that your child has to understand every word of the books you read to him. Or even most of them. I think its a great mistake parents and even some teachers make, thinking that children will be lost when confronted with a bunch words they don't know. In fact, young children enjoy the sound of language, especially the sound of your voice, you the beloved parent, and often don't care so very much about the content of what you are reading. Just think of nursery rhymes, which are almost all nonsense.

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It isn't hard to tell when what you are reading is too much for a young child. She grow bored and wanders away or start demanding that you turn the pages (or she turns the pages for herself). How much text can be on a page before a child will lose interest varies from child to child and even can vary depending on a child's mood or how tired she is. For Sophie right now it's about two longish sentences. Bella can handle an entire page of text so long as there is a picture to look at. (Or in the case of Pooh, there needn't even be a picture.)

For example, Bella loves having Dom read her articles out of Popular Science and Popular Mechanics (when she's sitting on the toilet-- we keep them in the bathroom magazine basket)

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So don't decide what books to read to your child based on your child's speaking vocabulary or even their comprehension. Just read to him and he will eventually learn the words from context as he grows.


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Also, going back to the topic of favorite board books, Elizabeth Foss has a post up about her sweet little Sarah Annie's current favorite board books. Looks like some good ones.


So are there any good bloggers I've missed who write about children's books? Any other tips on taking toddlers to the library?

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 12, 10 | 10:05 pm | Profile

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The Sprinkled Blood That Calls out More Eloquently Than Abel’s

from The Moral Reflections on Job by Pope St Gregory the Great

The text goes on fittingly to speak of Christ’s blood: Earth, do not cover over my blood, do not let my cry find a hiding place in you. When man sinned, God had said: Earth you are, and to earth you will return. Earth does not cover over the blood of our Redeemer, for every sinner, as he drinks the blood that is the price of his redemption, offers praise and thanksgiving, and to the best of his power makes that blood known to all around him.

Earth has not hidden away his blood, for holy Church has preached in every corner of the world the mystery of its redemption.

Notice what follows: Do not let my cry find a hiding place in you. The blood that is drunk, the blood of redemption, is itself the cry of our Redeemer. Paul speaks of the sprinkled blood that calls out more eloquently than Abel’s. Of Abel’s blood Scripture had written: The voice of your brother’s blood cries out to me from the earth. The blood of Jesus calls out more eloquently than Abel’s, for the blood of Abel asked for the death of Cain, the fratricide, while the blood of the Lord has asked for, and obtained, life for his persecutors.

If the sacrament of the Lord’s passion is to work its effect in us, we must imitate what we receive and proclaim to mankind what we revere. The cry of the Lord finds a hiding place in us if our lips fail to speak of this, though our hearts believe in it. So that his cry may not lie concealed in us it remains for us all, each in his own measure, to make known to those around us the mystery of our new life in Christ.


from today's Office of Readings

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 12, 10 | 2:13 pm | Profile

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Wed Mar 10, 2010

First Crocuses

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This little white crocus was our first sighting.

I don't care what the calendars say, for me and Bella today is the first day of spring because we saw our daffodils poking their green shoots up from among the brown dead leaves. And we were so excited by that that we ran to the front yard to see whether it might be possible... and it was! We saw our first crocuses. Oh glory be, spring is really, really here.

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My rose bushes have little tiny buds

The robins have been hopping in the yard. We've taken four stroller walks in the past week. And the kids have been out in the yard every day.

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There were many more crocuses almost ready to unfurl their petals. A little purple one hiding under the holly.


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Bella stalks crocuses. She also spotted a bee drinking nectar. Oh what bliss, what joy!

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 10, 10 | 9:39 pm | Profile

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The Golden Tongue

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Isabella and Auntie Tree holding hands on this morning's walk.


My sister had no intention of getting out of bed this morning. She didn't have to be at work until 2:30 and she was tired. I didn't even try to persuade her. But while I was hunting up socks for all the kids so that we could go for a walk, Bella went in to her bedroom and had a little chat with her, hanging over the edge of the bed, and the result was Auntie Tree climbing out of bed and declaring that she was coming for our walk with us.

Bella told her a story all about the last time we went for a walk and how wonderful it was, what she wore, what Tree wore. How they held hands. And Bella told her how much she loves doing things with Tree. It means so much to me. I love spending time with you and doing things with you. I love holding hands with you when we walk. I wish I'd heard this remarkable piece of rhetoric. I wish I'd even recorded more closely what Tree reported.

I recognized parts of her speech from similar ones I've given to Bella at various times. How much I like doing things with her, how much it means to me spending time with her. Evidently those words were heard, absorbed, stored away. I am impressed how she brought them out and rearranged them for her own purposes, my little golden-tongued persuader. Watch out, world. She's not even four years old!

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 10, 10 | 9:10 pm | Profile

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The Light Is on for You

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There was an article in today's Globe about the Archdiocese of Boston's new initiative for Lent: The Light Is on for You that reminded me that I've been meaning to blog about it.

The program began in Washington DC a couple of years ago. I first heard about it last year and thought it was awesome. Every Wednesday evening during Lent every church and chapel in the diocese will be open and offering the sacrament of confession. Additionally, there is a media push to advertise the sacrament and to invite people to come back to it.

The website is a big part of that media push. Dom designed it, though he is not responsible for all of the content. I think he did a great job; but perhaps I'm a bit biased. I do think that I am not at all biased, however, when I claim that they have the single best one-stop site for resources about Confession that I've ever seen and perhaps the best online guide to making a good confession.

For me confession is very hard and I need all the help I can get. I never properly got into the habit and it is so hard to cultivate that habit now as an adult and mother of young children with very little flexibility and free time. I think I went once or twice after I made my first confession and then nada, nothing. Until about six years ago when I finally screwed up my courage and went. It's been very hard to work up into anything like going regularly. So far I've been managing two or three times a year. My resolution this year was to go once a month and so far I've done that. I think this initiative is awesome and I only hope that it encourages more people to return to the sacrament and more people to make it a regular part of their spiritual lives.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 10, 10 | 8:47 pm | Profile

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Ring a Gak

I have to confess, I'm not a huge fan of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish. It's too odd, too long, too full of weirdness. And I don't know what to say when Isabella point to some odd Seussian creature and demands to know what it's called. But we own it, we've read it. Though not recently.

In fact I can't remember when I last saw the book. So it was puzzling to me when I deciphered what at first seemed to be a completely random noise from Bella as she was swinging a scarf back and forth: Ring a gak, ring a gak, ring a gak. Where did that come from, I wondered. And then I realized it came from Dr Seuss. The scene is something about a pet called a Gak and the narrator throwing rings onto his horns. Why this has now become a chant my girls sing when swinging things, I don't know. Children are funny.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 10, 10 | 5:17 pm | Profile

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Mon Mar 08, 2010

Sleep Management Updates


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Once Sophie had been on antibiotics for a few days her sleep improved dramatically. The past three nights she's slept through the night with nary a wake-up. It has been wonderful. Blissful.

This leads me to suspect that she's had the ear infection since we came back from Texas, poor thing. And we just didn't catch it until it got so bad she was running a raging fever. She's been cranky and sleeping poorly all this time and we just didn't know why. Yikes!

Of course even after Sophie's sleep calmed down, Bella was still having issues. Even though she isn't ready to give up her afternoon nap, I've decreed that it must be so. (This means I hve to be on the alert though for if I just put her in the other room and let her read books, she will as like as not lay down and go to sleep even if at the beginning of nap time she'd declared that she wasn't tired. So much for my idea of quiet time!)

Not only was she popping up many times after we'd tucked her in; but she was starting this new routine where she'd be up every half hour or so from three am on. I'm thinking it wasn't unrelated to Sophie's disturbing her sleep. But it had to stop. Dom and I were both getting to our breaking point. All our exhortations were for naught, however.

And then Saturday night I refused to get Dom up when she insisted that only he could help her. Instead I carried her to the office and let her fuss there until she calmed a bit. Then I explained that Daddy was tired and needed sleep, that everyone was getting sick from lack of sleep and that she needed to learn how to let us sleep. (This particular wake-up was the third or fourth of the night and I think was about her barrettes needing to be adjusted and it was following several other wake-ups for pretty spurious causes like maybe she couldn't find her sippy cup in her bed or "I'm having trouble sleeping." The next morning Dom and I both reiterated our pleas; but I think it was the fact that before dinner she wanted Dom to take them for a walk and he said he was too tired. I took them instead for a very brief jaunt.

So perhaps seeing that her night wake ups were costing her quality time with Daddy in the day time, last night at bedtime she announced to Dom that she was going to not wake him up at all. And you know what, she didn't. Both girls slept through the night. (I know it's Lent; but I still have to exclaim a little Halleluia!)

The only child who woke last night was Ben. And well, he was running a fever in the middle of the night and by the time I'd changed his diaper, taken his temperature and dosed him with Tylenol, we were both wide awake. I took him to the living room where he played for fifteen minutes or so and then nursed until he fell asleep. He didn't sleep well the rest of the night either. (He was fine all day today so I have no idea what that ever was about. Just one of those things babies sometimes do I guess.)

I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to deal with Ben. He's now waking up every two hours all night long. So even if Sophie and Bella aren't getting me up, I'm still not feeling rested at all. Maybe now that they are setting down he will too. I can only hope.

I've never been good at managing my babies' sleep. It only seems to even out after the first year. Many sleep experts will blame the fact that I nurse them to sleep. But it really is the easiest and pleasantest way to manage babies. And I don't have much patience or luck with reading the signs and lying them down tired but awake to calmly drift off to dream land. I don't seem to be able to read those signs reliably until the children are much older. And by then the patterns seem to be set and I don't really know how to reset them.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 08, 10 | 8:32 pm | Profile

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Sun Mar 07, 2010

Ben, My Sunshine

It isn't easy to steady a baby on your lap with one hand while holding a camera pointed at him with the other. Especially when he's a roly-poly lunging baby. Bu oh it is so worth it to capture a laugh like this one.


Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 07, 10 | 10:43 pm | Profile

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Sophie Behind the Camera

Continuing Sophie-themed posts for her birthday week.

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Bella has a very deep-seated respect for boundaries. She, of course tests them-- all kids do to some extent-- but has remarkably little destructive instincts. For example, she has never, ever dropped anything into the toilet. In fact she only once ever went into the bathroom when she wasn't supposed to and pulled the toilet paper off the roll.


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Sophie, on the other hand, is a lot more mischievous. She not only tests boundaries, she's sneaky. She knows she's not supposed to touch my computer so she waits until I'm in the kitchen cooking and then quietly sneaks over and starts pushing buttons. Once she turned on iTunes and got a bit of a surprise.

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She has also figured out how to unlock my iPod Touch. She loves my cell phone and has programmed a few new contacts into it. And recently she has discovered how to use the camera.

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She has now taken quite a few shots of fingers and blank walls. And some surprisingly recognizable shots.

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Maybe some day soon we can find a cheap little digital camera that she can play with to her heart's content.

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Maybe some day she will be a great photographer.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 07, 10 | 8:36 pm | Profile

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About a Boy

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Dear Jenn,

It still fits!

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Five minutes after this photo was taken, Ben, who hadn't messed his diaper in several days, had a massive poop explosion. He'd been sitting calmly, playing with his blocks. Then he toppled over and started to cry. No wonder, he was laying on a couple of the blocks. But when Theresa went to pick him up, she discovered another reason for the yelling. All over the living room carpet. And his pants and shirt. Fortunately there was just one tiny spot on the hem of the sweater vest.

My sister is my hero for patiently sponging the carpet while I cleaned up the boy.

Look at that sweet innocent face... he doesn't look like a poop demon.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 07, 10 | 12:21 pm | Profile

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Sat Mar 06, 2010

Sophie and Ben Play with Blocks

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I remember watching Bella wander about our apartment before Sophie was born and thinking: She needs a playmate. She needs a sibling.

When Bella celebrated her second birthday Sophie was just an infant, two months old and nowhere near being a good playmate.

Now there's Sophie. Sometimes I pity her being hte middle child. Stuck in the middle. Booted out by Ben, no longer the baby. However... Not only does she have a big sister she adores (I love you, Bella B.) she also has a little brother who's is pretty fun to hang out with.

A week or two ago I caught the two of them playing together with the blocks. Well, ok, together might be a bit of a stretch... but then again check it out.

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Not only did they enjoy spending time together leaning over the same block box, Sophie building little towers and Ben chewing on the blocks; but immediately afterward before I'd finished putting the camera away, I caught Sophie sharing her sippy cup with Ben.

Back and forth they passed it, taking sips in turn. Every time Sophie brought the cup to her own mouth Ben would reach out to grab it. But she never got upset with him, just took her drink and then held it out for him to take.


It was so sweet and reminded me of my own childhood when we always shared one drink among the four of us.

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Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 06, 10 | 2:29 pm | Profile

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Thu Mar 04, 2010

Sophie's Birthday in Pictures

Of course, two years old doesn't anticipate and thus Bella was much more excited about the birthday than Sophie was. Still, we did our best to make it a special day.

On Wednesday I bought Sophie a balloon at the grocery store. A shiny mylar balloon covered with butterflies. We almost lost it when we got home. A crossbreeze swept it out of the minivan and into the waiting arms of our helpful peach tree. Had it not been for the tree, the balloon would have been gone. All afternoon and evening Bella was jealous and kept taking the balloon. Probably should have got two of them.

Thursday morning we made a cake. Bella helped collect the ingredients, read the instructions, measured, and greased and floured the pan with me.

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Both girls helped to clean the beaters.

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Sophie may not anticipate; but she shure knows how to live in the moment.

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Midmorning a knock at the door. I had Sophie on my hip, which was perfect as it was a man delivering an edible fruit arrangement from Grandma B. It came with a teddy bear and a second mylar balloon. (Grandma, how did you know?)

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Bella helped Sophie eat the fruit.

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Yum, pineapple!

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And strawberries on a stick!

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Bella helped herself to grapes on a skewer.

I roasted a chicken for dinner as Sophie adores meat. I was so glad that she's got her appetite back.

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And then we had cake and ice cream. Sophie had to have help blowing out the candle. Thanks, Bella.

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Bella also helped Sophie open the presents.

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And so did mama.

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Then every toy had to be played with. Every book had to be read.

It was a late evening.

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When I finally got her into bed, Sophie was still clutching one last board book. She kept up her monologue after I turned off the light. I sat in the dark nursing Ben and trying to sing the girls to sleep; but Sophie would not stop chattering. Poor Bella lay in her bed whimpering. I finally hd to leave the room. No protest from my usually clinging Sophie, just a 'Bye, Mama.' I think she kept it up about ten minutes before she really noticed I was gone and started crying for me.

She slept all through the night for the first time in a long while. A nice birthday gift to poor tired Mama. (I was still up every two hours with Ben; but that's a story for another blog post.)


Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 04, 10 | 9:13 pm | Profile

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Happy Birthday, Sweet Sophie!

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My silly, sunny, cuddly girl. You are much more affectionate than your big sister. Sometimes, I'll confess your need for your mama can make me a little crazy but only because I don't feel like I can give you as much of my attention as I know you deserve. You aren't my baby any more and yet you will always be my little lovey girl.

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Sophie with ashes on Ash Wednesday

I can't believe you are picking out your own clothes (and color-coordinating them perfectly!). I'm already seeing a bit of the two in your insistent "I do it." I love your independence and helpful attitude. Just this morning I saw you bend down to pick up your baby brother when he fell over. It totally made up for your smacking him away from your blocks.


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Sophie climbed into this box and got stuck. She wasn't upset, though. On the contrary, she was giggling as I took the picture.


I love listening to you singing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and all your favorite songs. I love listening to you read your books and recite your nursery rhymes and say your prayers. But I think one of my favorite things ever is when you turn to your sister and say, "I love you, Bella B." That melts my heart.


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Sophie in her new rain boots. What a little lady!

Two years seems impossible. And yet not nearly long enough. I love you, my Sophia.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 04, 10 | 11:35 am | Profile

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Tue Mar 02, 2010

Welcoming March

Today it was a balmy 42 degrees and almost all of the snow had melted. After a rough night we all really, really needed to get out of the house. I was so glad to be able to bundle Ben and Sophie into the stroller and take them all out for a nice walk. And they were all very happy to be outdoors. I am starting to see a glimpse of what life will be like come spring. And it can't come fast enough.


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Bella circles the stroller, forages for sticks and pine cones (she packed the bottom of the stroller with them, telling me that Gina, her imaginary friend/daughter needed them to make ice), blazes the trail and lingers far behind, decides the route and whines when she is vetoed.


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Teeny, tiny pine cones the size of my finger tips fascinate me as much as they do Bella. These are the ones I collected in the stroller's snack tray.


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Still too early for any flowers, except the lingering skeletons from long ago autumn.


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About the only green I see is the moss which overgrows the sidewalk at places.


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One little, lonely patch of dirty snow, with our stroller tracks in it.


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Ben fell asleep in the stroller and had a nice long nap. Ah, bliss! I can't wait till we can do that more often. It was the best nap he's had in a long time.


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He was still sleeping soundly when we got home and I didn't want to wake him so we went out to the back yard and I pushed Sophie in the swing. We had a very late lunch and a very late nap; but I think it was worth it to see a smile on her face; she's been so miserable with that ear infection. Oh she does love her swing!


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While Sophie sat in her swing, Bella climbed the ladder.


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Notice that she ditched her coat. My little hardy New England girl. (It felt warm to me, too. I was only wearing a sweatshirt.)


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Bella is so full of joy.


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Ben sat in the swing for the first time. He wasn't so sure about it at first but I did get him to smile. He didn't last long, though. He had a wet diaper, an empty belly, and cold hands.

Posted by: Melanie Bettinelli on Mar 02, 10 | 8:47 pm | Profile

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