Bella on Vocations

On Sunday Father's homily was about vocations. He asked the kids if they were going to be priests or religious when they grew up or married. I whispered to Bella, "Are you going to be a religious sister."

"No," she replied with great certainty, "I'm going to be married." After all, she's already got all her children named.

But later at dinner she spontaneously offered this, "My little boy is going to grow up and be a priest."

Do You Reject Satan and All His Empty Promises?

On this day four years ago we brought Isabella to Immaculate Conception Church in Salem, MA and asked that she be baptized. I believe it was Trinity Sunday, which is why Father Murphy is wearing gold vestments. (A nice feast to be baptized on, I did think!)



This morning I brought Isabella, Sophia, and Benedict to Mass with me. (We arrived a little late, during the responsorial psalm.) They all behaved beautifully

Today was the Fest of the Sacred Heart. The readings focused on Jesus as the Good Shepherd. By coincidence I'd brought a board book for Ben about the Good Shepherd. He shrieked at it all through Mass.



After Mass we asked Father R to give Isabella a special blessing. It was at her request; but she clammed up and refused to say anything to him. Still, he's so wonderful with kids. He knelt down to be at her level and he said a beautiful prayer for her. She was glowing, even if too shy to speak.



We came home and made chocolate chip cookies. Mmmm..... The girls helped lick beaters and bowls and ate some chocolate chips. Of course.



After dinner we lit Isabella's baptismal candle and renewed our baptismal promises. It was so sweet hearing Bella and Sophie add their voices to the chorus of "I do".

I got the idea from Mike Aquilina. I've been reading Love in the Little Things: Tales of Family Life.



The day before yesterday, the chapter I read was about his family's celebration of baptismal days and he mentioned that in addition to lighting their baptismal candles, they renew their promises. I thought it would make a lovely addition to our family's ritual. It did.



We didn't, however, follow his other advice to read Scripture passages relating to baptism. Maybe next year when the girls are a bit older.



We sang an Alleluia and then, at Bella's request, the first verse of Amazing Grace.



Then we ate our chocolate chip cookies made into ice cream sandwiches.



They were messy but very good. Sophie got a bit distressed by the drips.



Then we gave Bella a couple of presents: a coloring book of the life of St Francis and a little Holy Spirit medallion.



Bella put on the necklace at once and then began to color.



It didn't take much preparation or planning to create a meaningful ritual in our domestic church. I hope and pray that this tradition will help create good memories and strengthen my children for the battles they will face, help them learn to cling to their baptismal promises in all of life's tough situations.

Compromising My Parenting Ideals

Naps. That's where I failed to hold the line.

The plan was that even when Bella got to the point where she was ready to give up her nap, she'd still have an hour or so of quiet time while Sophie and Ben napped. I think having a restful time to sit and read or otherwise quietly amuse herself would be good. I've read about homeschooling families who insist on quiet time through high school even. I wanted to be that family. I need a little peace and quiet in the afternoons. Sometimes I even need a little nap myself.



But expediency has trumped idealism. By the time I've got Sophie settled and Ben settled, I have little energy left to fight with a fractious 4 year-old who desperately wants to be playing outside. Especially when I'm exhausted and want to curl up for a little quiet nap myself.



Recently I've really been struggling to get to bed at a reasonable hour. By the time nap time rolls around all I want to do is curl up and sleep. So after half an hour of Bella's trying really hard to be quiet but failing because she starts to read her book out loud to herself or she forgets she's supposed to be lying down and wanders off in search of a a drink or she just has one question, mommy, I banish her outside and tell her not to come back until Ben and Sophie wake up.



A few times I've been collected enough to put her outside with her quilt so she can shack up in her play house. Yesterday afternoon she actually fell asleep outside on a blanket spread out on the grass. So sweet!



It's not that skipping her nap works really well. Lately Bella's been very cranky in the evenings, a result, I'm sure of no nap. But when I don't get Sophie and Ben down until late, then it become really too late for Bela to nap without being up all night.

Perhaps once she's past this stage I'll try again with required quiet time. I'm not quite ready to hang up that ideal. But for now, I'm giving in and letting go.

Birds, Birds, Birds

Bella's version of Song of the Swallows:

"Birds, birds, birds. I like all the birds.

Birds, birds, birds. I like to see birds.

Birds, birds, birds, I wish I could see birds.

Birds, birds, birds, I wish I could see birds.

Birds, birds, birds, I wish I could see birds.

Birds, birds, birds, I wish I could see birds.

Birds, birds, birds, I like to see birds.

Birds, birds, birds, see all the birds."

Each line is said on a different page. As if she was reading that page.

There's a poetic quality to the repetition of the refrain with a slight change in the verse on each page.

Pictures from Bella's Birthday

On Wednesday night we had a power outage and so I wasn't able to get these up as I'd planned.




Even though we had lemon cake last week for Sophie's baptism day, Bella wanted more lemon cake. I talked her into doing cupcakes. What little girls doesn't like cupcakes? We skipped frosting and no one seemed to miss it.




Of course, Bella had to lick the bowl. Mmmm....




Auntie Tree, who couldn't be with us for the evening's festivities, gave her some really neat little cards with a series of pictures meant to prompt story telling. Fairies and princesses, bears, raccoon, squirrels. Beautiful little drawings.

Unfortunately, even with such lovely prompts I'm still a terrible story teller.




For weeks now Bella has been begging for a hula hoop. I dropped a hint in Auntie Tree's ear so that she could fulfill a little girl's fondest dream. She's not quite sure what to do with it; but she was very thrilled.




Grandma B. sent a lovely edible arrangement that came with a balloon and a bear.




And so we had a delicious fruit snack before naps.




Ben was especially fond of the strawberries.




Pineapple flowers are delicious.




Sophie concurs.




We went out to dinner at Bella's favorite restaurant, a cute little pho place that she calls "the lo mein restaurant" because she loves their chicken lo mein. (She also adores their avocado shakes, you can see her cradling the dregs of her shake as she blows out her candles.) Sadly, we forgot to take pictures at dinner.




Bella proclaimed it "A very fun day!"

Happy Birthday, Isabella!!!

Holding Bella for the first time.


Dear Isabella,

Four years ago today I got to hold you for the very first time. It was the most awesome thing. I'm still at a loss for words to express what that moment means to me.

Today I thank God once again for giving you to me. For making me a mom.



God bless you and keep you, my darling girl.

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

Our neighbors whose house is directly behind ours had their fence replaced this week.

The girls spent much of Tuesday morning perched in their playhouse, staring over the back fence at the workers.

On Tuesday afternoon when they woke from their naps, the workers had moved on to the fence that divides our yard from theirs. Bella refused to go outside with those strange men in our yard.

On Wednesday morning Bella decided that maybe it was ok to sit on the back step and watch the men working.

By lunch time she was sitting with Tree at the plastic table in the yard, about six feet from the back door.

When I went to call the girls in for their naps they were sitting on the overturned plastic slide about ten feet away from the workers and the back fence and Bella was chatting with them.

An hour or so later my pumpkin muffins had come out of the oven and cooled down and I handed two of them to Bella to share with her new friends. She handed one muffin to one of the men and then sat down on her chair with the other muffin. I took a third muffin out to the second man and chatted with them for a while. They told me that Bella had been telling them about her trip to Texas.

I can't imagine what she was telling them; but she certainly gave them an earful.

No More Monkeys...

We were singing No more monkey this morning. Then I stopped singing to go make lunch. Bella made up her own version.

Bella's version:

(As transcribed by me. This is word for word)

There was two little girls jumping on the table. Their mother told them not to; but they kept doing it. They both fell off and cracked their heads open. Their mama called the doctor and the doctor said no more children jumping on the table. So their mama took the children to the doctor. He fixed their heads. Then the mother came back and she took the children back home. She told them not to jump on the table again. Then they listened and everything was better.

The Golden Tongue

Isabella and Auntie Tree holding hands on this morning's walk.


My sister had no intention of getting out of bed this morning. She didn't have to be at work until 2:30 and she was tired. I didn't even try to persuade her. But while I was hunting up socks for all the kids so that we could go for a walk, Bella went in to her bedroom and had a little chat with her, hanging over the edge of the bed, and the result was Auntie Tree climbing out of bed and declaring that she was coming for our walk with us.

Bella told her a story all about the last time we went for a walk and how wonderful it was, what she wore, what Tree wore. How they held hands. And Bella told her how much she loves doing things with Tree. It means so much to me. I love spending time with you and doing things with you. I love holding hands with you when we walk. I wish I'd heard this remarkable piece of rhetoric. I wish I'd even recorded more closely what Tree reported.

I recognized parts of her speech from similar ones I've given to Bella at various times. How much I like doing things with her, how much it means to me spending time with her. Evidently those words were heard, absorbed, stored away. I am impressed how she brought them out and rearranged them for her own purposes, my little golden-tongued persuader. Watch out, world. She's not even four years old!

Imaginary Friends

"Gina is my little girl."

Gina is the first and foremost among Bella's coterie of imaginary friends. She's Bella's daughter and appeared at about the time when Ben was born. Bella told stories of being in the hospital for Gina's delivery. Sometimes Gina is a dol. Other times she seems to be in invisible person only Bella can see. Bella does not insist that we talk to or interact with Gina.

Gina sometimes has a brother or a sister but they remain nameless.

Then there are names that we don't really get much information about. They just appear in her chatter about her day.

Ayrie is one that has come up again and again. At first I thought she was saying 'Ellie'-- she's not very good with R. But she corrected my corrected pronunciation and was only happy when I echoed her pronunciation: Ayrie. It's always 'My friend Ayrie," so definitely not in the 'Gina' category.

Kellin is a name that came up for the first time last week. Also a friend. I have no idea where she gets these names but I'm fascinated. She was very clear that it wasn't Karen (my first attempt to understand what she was saying) or Kevin. No, it was Kellin.

Ann is an interesting one. Bella has a strong attachment to Dom's sweet co-worker, Anna. But her imaginary friend is just plain Ann. (I don't know if it's Anne with an E or not; but I rather think not.)

I'm rather sad that we no longer play with Pooh and Piglet and the others. I miss the old gang. But they are gone back to their storybook land. Now 'Pooh' is just Sophie's generic name for any teddy bear.

"The Whippers"

Bella came rushing into the living room, breathlessly telling this story. This isn't word for word but I've tried to catch the flavor:

The whippers came into my room and they were whipping Phia. And they ran away into the yard. Then they just came back in to my bedroom. And the whippers came back into my bedroom and they threw me away. Threw me away into into the hallway and I was very upset. And I just came into the living room. I didn't like that at all it wasn't very fun when the whippers came.

So I'm going to go say a prayer to Hail Mary because I'm very upset. I'm going to say a prayer. She gets a rosary and hands one to Sophia and kneels and says, Hail Mary full of grace, please help the whippers go away. All right. Stand up. Let's put the rosaries back in the basket. All right lets go back to our bedroom. And oh the whippers are still in there.

You stay right there. [to Sophia] In case the whippers don't want you in. I'm going to go get my baby. She's crying. I'm going in. Can I go in and get my baby? Please don't hurt my baby. The baby's crying. I need to get her. No get out. I'll take care of the whippers.


And then just like that the story is over. Next she's reading If You're Happy and You Know It to Sophia. And then she is playing high school, doing her work, playing with papers. Making sure the poor people have enough money.

I have no idea where she heard about whipping. Where the whippers came from. I know it's common at Bella's age to start to imagine bears or tigers, boogeymen or dragons. To start to know the world has things in it that can hurt her and forces that are big and scary and beyond her control. I've sort of been waiting to see it happen, wondering what form it might take. Nonetheless her story was a bit unnerving to say the least. As Dom said, it sounds almost demonic.

Still, I'm reassured that she turned to prayer, said a rosary, asked for Mary's intercession as I've taught her to do. That she does know how to confront her fears and knows there's a resource she can call on in times of need. Because the scary truth is there are whippers out there who could hurt my baby girl. There are forces beyond my control. She's not the only one who as to confront these fears. And ultimately all any of us can do is pray. And that is not a little thing at all.

Baby Doll Prayers

I know Isabella can say the Our Father and Hail Mary. I've heard her do so any number of times. But for some reason at bedtime it's like pulling teeth to get her to pray along with us. She wants to read a book or she gets distracted by her toys or she wants to do flips or climb on Dom. Anything but pray.

The other night I had a stroke of genius as she was playing with her doll. "Bella, why don't you help Dolly say her prayers?"

Bella totally got into it. She jumped up and found just the perfect block to serve as dolly's holy water bottle (The one with the 7 on top. Maybe it looked like the flip spout?) Then she helped dolly to make the sign of the cross, to bless Daddy and Mama and Sophie and Ben, and then to fold her hands and say prayers along with us. And thus with her dolly sitting on her lap Bella said every word of the Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be and all the petitions we say every night.

Creative problem solving to the rescue.

Glad Tidings of Great Joy

This morning Bella was holding the angel from the nativity and singing:

I love you....
Don't be scared....
It's ok....
Cuz I love you...
So don't be scared....

Her own version of the angel's song. None of the picture books we have use these words.

Mother Mary, Speak to Me

Bella, standing on the stool next to me in the kitchen as I mix the cookie dough is talking to the statue of Mary that stands on the windowsill above the sink:

"Holy Mary, we have a statue of you praying and another statue of you with your hands stretched out and another one of you with St Joseph and holding the baby Jesus. My mommy and Sophie's mommy is making cookies for you."

Visitation

It occurred to me this morning at breakfast as I listened to Bella telling me about how Bella is recovering from being home from the hospital and how she (Mary) came to help while Bella is not feeling well, it occurred to me that what I was hearing was a retelling of the visitation, whether Bella intends that or not. For Isabella is a variation of Elizabeth and I've always considered St Elizabeth, the mother of the Forerunner, a special patron of my Bella.

In Bella's story Bella has gone to the hospital to have a baby (the only way she knows of having a baby) and Mary has come to help her during the childbirth, to tend the house and care for the children. How beautiful that during this advent season Bella is entering so deeply and imaginatively into the drama of the gospel story.

The Narrative Progresses

This morning Bella informed me that Bella is home from the hospital and feels better. She evidently had many good friends visit her there. She still can't pick anyone up, though.

Interesting how this story has progressed in something like real time.

I'm fascinated by the dissociative nature of the narrative, how Bella is telling a story in present tense about herself doing something elsewhere while Bella maintains that she is Holy Mary.

So I guess that makes me St Anne?

Have I mentioned that one of Bella's dolls has been christened 'Baby Jesus'? And Bella pretended that holy Mary came to visit.

Well there's a new development. Now according to Bella, "Bella's in the hospital. She's getting better. She's having a baby."

I think right now Bella is pretending to be Holy Mary.

Bella Spills the Beans and other tales

It's been a while since we had any Bella stories; but she's been up to quite a bit in the past few days. We've been in stitches.

Why do they seem to come in waves like that? It's one of life's mysteries.


Buying a present for daddy with a three year old.

Doesn't work.

It wasn't anything huge. Just I thought Dom could use some new pajama pants and, well, they'd make a nice little present to put under the tree. And there they were on sale. Bella helped me choose the color. I tossed them in the cart along with the diapers and toilet paper and then shoved them in my closet along with the Saint Nick candy.

When Dom got home from work he opened a package that had come from Amazon, a few new pairs of khakis for work. Bella saw them and announced that we'd bought pants for daddy today at Target. It hadn't occurred to me to ask her not to tell (not that it would have done any good) nor did it ever cross my mind that she might spill the beans.

Dom and Theresa and I had a good giggle and Bella got that look on her face of intense concentration, trying to figure out why we were so amused.


Skype or magic mirror?

Bella has recently taken to pretending Ben's crib mirror is her laptop computer. First she had a pile of papers which she told me she was scanning into her laptop. Then she was holding the mirror up and pretending to talk into it. She told me she was chattering with her friends. We just had a Skype chat with my parents in Texas the other day, so I suppose that's what she was imitating. It was super cute.

And then of course Sophie imitates Bella. She holds up the mirror and says, "friends."


Baby in the manger with animals

This morning Bella spent some time arranging the refrigerator magnets, collecting all the various animals and placing them on the bottom door to the freezer compartment. When that was done she announced that they were animals for the Baby Jesus.

She then ran off to her room and reappeared with a little step stool and a baby doll and proceeded to arrange them beneath the magnets. "I'm putting the special baby in the manger," she told me.




I haven't had time to set up our nativity scene yet; but Bella's improvising quite nicely with the materials at hand.


Was That in the Job Description?

"Mama, I need you help," Bella called from the bedroom.

"What's the matter?" I yelled back.

"Gina's stuck under the bed. She crawled under there. Can you get her out?"

I figured she'd somehow shoved one of the dolls under there-- they go through so many names these days. But when I knelt down beside the bed and peered underneath, I saw nothing. For once there wasn't a single toy under Bella's bed. Then I remembered that Gina was her imaginary friend, the one who is "my little girl." So I reached out my hand and assisted the pretend friend to emerge from her hiding place.

All in a day's work.

A Party by Bella

The other morning I glanced at the coffee table and found a curious sight. Look carefully at this scene.

I asked Bella what it was.

She informed me that the photographs (they got wet and were ruined so we let her play with them) were plates. The blocks (see how nicely they are paired-- two of the same color on each photograph.) were pieces of cake. The little stuffed animals and finger puppets were evidently attending a birthday party. (Whose party, I'm not quite sure.)

I just love watching her imagination at work.

Bella-isms

Bella mentioned a new name today when she came in from playing in the back yard. Gina. Gina was evidently in the car when it tipped over. But she's ok. Phew!

I asked, Oh, is Gina your new friend?"

"No, Gina is my little girl. She was just in my belly and then she came out."

* * *

Yesterday Bella perched on the back of the futon and announced that she was sitting on the "roll gosh". At least I think that's what she said. Her Ls and Rs are never very clear. But when I asked she agreed that "roll gosh" was what she was saying.

I have absolutely no idea what "roll gosh" might mean. None.

* * *

Does anyone else have an issue with shirts being taken off? Especially at naptime. I keep finding Bella with her arms pulled up through the neckline of the shirt, the shirt pulled down around her middle. Today she cam out with her arm stuck in the neck of the shirt which was too tight to be pulled down over her torso.

I can't figure out why she does this. Nor can I get her to stop.

Bella Sprouts

Last night at bedtime prayers Bella knelt down beside the bed next to Dom. Watching her, I realized that her height while kneeling is the same as it was standing when we moved in last November. My how our little girl has grown!

Logical in Her World

Bella comes to the back door after breakfast, "My feet are cold," she complains.

"Where are your shoes?" we ask.

Blank stare.

"What did you do with your shoes?"

Pause.

"I took them off."

"Why?"

"To walk in the water."

"Well, there's your problem. It's October. Go put them on please."

(Repeat instruction to find shoes and put them on about 20 times.)

Bella Cuts Apples

Today we made applesauce from the apples we bought last Saturday. I think we canned 7 pints. Bella helped me by cutting up the pieces after I'd peeled and quartered and cored the apples. She was so proud. but she wouldn't eat the applesauce.

Bella sings Do Re Mi

Dom taught the girls to sing this one. And he taght Bella hand motions too so cute.

Just ignore the absolutely trashed state of the living room. Please.

Bella with a Sling

As well as carrying them about in her basket, Bella's been draping her new fabrics about herself as dresses and scarves. Then Dom captured this precious innovation this morning. That's a stuffed rabbit (Peter Rabbit) she's got tucked up in her home-made sling.