If You Give a Four Year-Old a Camera...

I pulled out the camera yesterday afternoon mainly because I really wanted to find a distraction for Bella. I was impressed by the number of interesting pictures she took. It goes without saying that for every interesting picture there were a dozen boring blurry shots of the ceiling or of the camera strap and some weeds.

Still, it's one thing to be a proud mama posting your daughter's pictures on your own blog. It's quite another to have a friend write and ask if she can borrow one of those photos for her blog. Julie D. of Happy Catholic features some great art in her "Worth a Thousand Words" daily feature. Bella's shot of her feet is in good company. Thanks, Julie, for making this mama's day!

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Introversion and Housekeeping

All the photos in this blog post are by Isabella. I gave her my old camera this afternoon while Ben and Sophie were napping and showed her how to shoot pictures. This bought me a few minutes of quiet time. (And didn't she do a great job?)


Dom went back to work on Monday after two weeks of summer vacation. We did some fun things while he was home (Bass Pro Shop, a train ride to the New England Aquarium, peach picking...) and I enjoyed seeing more of him. Please don't take it as a sign of some failing in our marital relationship that nevertheless I heaved a huge sigh of relief when the door closed behind him on Monday morning as two little girls, who had grown very accustomed to the new status quo, looked on sadly.





I love my husband. I love his company. For the first year of our marriage he worked from home and that was one of the happiest periods of my life (except for the morning sickness, of course). I don't mind spending all day every day with him at home and wouldn't mind if he were to work from home again in the future. Still, working from home is vastly different from being on vacation. In the main because it is a break from routine.





And it's been a long time since I've been in my happy housewife routine. You may remember that at the beginning of August my mom came for a visit. She was here almost two weeks.





And here's where I stop, get off that train of thought before it speeds off the rails, and backtrack to a lovely little blog piece that my fellow introvert, Amy Welborn, recently posted called The Introvert:

I'm a very, very strong introvert -- and the reason I'm writing this post is because I thought of an example today to explain how strong.

When I write, I really have to be alone, which means without a lurking fear of distraction. That is to say, I can write better in the coffee shop at Barnes and Noble surrounded by 20 people than I can at home surrounded by 4. Why? Because I know, with certainty, that those 20 other customers at B & N or the Urban Standard or Trattoria Centrale aren't going to hit me up for a snack, a band-aid nor are they going to start fighting over Legos. That suspicion, that waiting for the next explosion at home, keeps me on edge, prevents me from fully concentrating.

This also means -- and this is the part that the extroverts are going to decide is really insane -- is this: say I'm in the house and everyone is occupied. Everyone's quiet. Let's say that the little boys aren't even around -- they're at school -- and it's just me and the other two, and the other two are in their rooms. No one's talking to me, there's no music, maybe just some laughter or a bathroom door closing every once in a while.

If both of them leave -- I feel different. If I've got work I need to be focusing on, I feel relieved.

Now! I can finally concentrate.

Yeah, I know. Crazy. It's just the way it is.

I've long known that I'm an introvert and I've written my share of blog posts about my insights into introversion. But this little example that Amy shares made something click for me: that feeling of relief and finally being able to work. I knew I felt that way about writing. But also, I realized, I feel that way about housework.





I was feeling pretty darn slothful by the time my mom left. In fact, while she was here she pretty much took over doing the laundry for me. And the dishes. For which I was grateful, don't get me wrong. Very, very grateful. But beneath my gratitude, I'll confess, lurked a little bit of guilt. Because I knew that I wasn't that tired. I had been keeping up with the laundry pretty well before she arrived. True, the CNMC right after she arrived did drain me a bit; but I was really falling behind what I knew I was capable of doing. The house was a mess-- and not just untidy, it was pretty dirty-- and I knew it but couldn't quite bring myself to do anything about it.





The slump continued while Dom was home on his vacation. Things got messier and messier and I felt totally out of control. Ah but then I read Amy's piece and started thinking more and more about introversion and why, as much as I love my mom, I always get a bit cranky toward the end of her visit. It's a break in my routine, I don't have my usual alone time, and I don't have the solitude I really need to get things done around the house.





I talked some of my realizations over with Dom and he was very understanding. The timing of his vacation right after my mom's visit meant I had been off my routine for almost a month by the time he went back to work. As much as I love him, I was getting cranky at the continued absence of my usual routine and my customary (very small) periods of solitude. While both Dom and my mother are fellow introverts, quiet and unobtrusive and quite willing to grant me quiet time during the day, I still had that ridiculous nagging feeling Amy describes, an awareness of someone else here. Followed by an awareness on Monday morning of relief: Now I can finally get things done!





And I did. I threw in a load of laundry first thing that morning. I changed the sheets on my bed. I think I ran five or six loads through the washer and dryer throughout the day. I folded them and put them away. I did the dishes. I cleaned the sink. Picked up clutter all over the house and straightened and tidied and put things in order.





Then when Dom came home and we'd decided on a plan for dinner, and I'd helped do some of the food prep, then I continued my cleaning spree while he cooked. I vacuumed the living room and the hall, the girls' room and the master bedroom. (And when I vacuum I also do another round of straightening and picking up.)





When I woke up this morning, the house felt so much more welcoming. Oh there are still bins of clothes in the living room. But now they are at least sorted bins waiting to be stored. And the dining room and kitchen and laundry room could all use another round of vacuuming and the bathroom is filthy. But I've made inroads. And so today, today I can finally get a bit of writing done!!! (I also did the grocery shopping this morning.)





In another week I'll be back to missing Dom terribly. Right now, though, can I confess to feeling a bit of relief? My fellow introverts, you understand, right?

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Prayers for Abby

Abby of Abigail's Alcove is having a baby today! Her fourth child, a girl, will be born via c-section at 10:30 EST.

Please join me in prayers for her baby's safe delivery and Abby's swift recovery.


Updated:

Welcome to baby Teresa!

"The Present is the point at which time touches eternity": Abby's birth story

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The Catholic Holocaust of Nagasaki

I don't remember where I saw the link to this beautiful article; but I just had to share it.

It's the story of a Japanese Catholic doctor, Takashi Nagai, who survived the bombing of Nagasaki and was miraculously cured from a lethal dose of radiation through the intercession of St Maximilan Kolbe, who he had previously met. (Amazingly the news of Kolbe's death hadn't yet reached Japan-- there was a war on after all-- but Nagai felt prompted to pray for his intercession nonetheless.)

Nagai's story was very moving; but what really floored me was his insight about the Catholics who died in the bombing:

Asked by the bishop to speak at the funeral Mass for the victims held in the courtyard of the bombed cathedral, Nagai prayed for guidance on something meaningful to say. Then he remembered two strange stories, one by a nurse and some others in his radiology department telling of some women singing Latin hymns on the midnight after the blast. The next day they found the twenty-seven nuns from the nearby Josei Convent. The convent was demolished and all were dead, horribly burned to death; and yet they died singing! The other incident concerned girls from Junshin, a school where his wife Midori had taught, run by nuns that he knew well. During the dark days of 1945, when the people worried of being firebombed, the girls had been taught by the principal nun to sing, “Mary, my Mother, I offer myself to you.” Remarkably, after the bombing, though many of the Junshin girls were instantly killed, Nagai heard several reports of different groups of Junshin girls who had been working in factories, fields and other places, singing, “Mary, my Mother, I offer myself to you.” Many would be dead within days, but they were heard singing.11 Nagai now knew what he must say to the people:

“At midnight that night, our cathedral suddenly burst into flames and was consumed. At exactly the same time in the Imperial Palace, His Majesty the Emperor made known his sacred decision to end the war. On August 15, the Imperial Rescript, which put an end to the fighting, was formally promulgated, and the whole world saw the light of peace. August 15 is also the great feast of the Assumption of the Virgin Mary. It is significant, I believe, that the Urakami cathedral was dedicated to her. We must ask: was this convergence of events, the end of the war and the celebration of her feast day, merely coincidental, or was it the mysterious Providence of God?

“…It was not the American crew, I believe, who chose our suburb. God’s Providence chose Urakami and carried the bomb right above our homes. Is there not a profound relationship between the annihilation of Nagasaki and the end of the war? Was not Nagasaki the chosen victim, the lamb without blemish, slain as a whole burnt offering on the altar of sacrifice, atoning for the sins of all the nations during World War II?”

Read the whole article here: The Catholic Holocaust of Nagasaki—“Why, Lord?” .

I'm definitely putting Nagai's biography, A Song for Nagasaki: The Story of Takashi Nagai: Scientist, Convert, and Survivor of the Atomic Bomb by Fr. Paul Glynn on my wishlist.

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Beach Day with Daddy

Dom's been on vacation the past two weeks. We didn't go anywhere; but have been having fun exploring things to do closer to home.

One of Bella's requests was a beach day with Daddy. "You have never, ever, been to the beach, Daddy!" So on Thursday we went to the beach.






Sophie wanted to spend most of her beach time standing in the surf. She didn't mind the chilly water at all. She's really pretty fearless and the waves were pretty high still after the weekend's storms. We had to insist she only go into the water if she was holding someone's hand. I think she could have stood there all day if we'd let her.




Ben was ok with the water in small doses; but he mainly stayed up near the blanket, playing with rocks and sand and trying to push the wagon.




Bella spent most of the day running back and forth. Out to hold daddy's hand in the surf. Then she'd find a pretty rock or shell or bit of seaweed and run up to show me her find and deposit it in the growing pile on the edge of the blanket. Then back to splash some more. Ben was happy to have a thoughtful big sister providing him with so many playthings.




I had to take a picture of Bella holding many of her favorite finds. She insisted. I love the wide variety of expressions in the photos of her.









Toward the end she got very silly, making faces for the camera.




Of course, if Bella sticks her tongue out, Sophie has to do it too!




Watch`out, Ben, the tide is coming in! We kept having to move our blanket up the beach as the waves lapped higher and higher. Bella was quite nervous as she watched their gradual encroachment.




Sophie looking surprised at something.




Yes, I think the beach was a great success. We had hot dogs and grilled cheese sandwiches from the snack shack and ended the day with ice cream sandwiches.

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Rain, rain, rain

It's been raining nonstop since sometime early Sunday morning. Or was it late on Saturday?



This morning we looked outside to see these two dishpans full of water.



Bella and I took a tape measure out to see how much that is. She's not a great photographer's assistant. She doesn't have a steady hand. Still, if you look close you can see: Yep, that's more than six inches of rain.



The cherry tomatoes I picked this morning had all split their sides from all the water.



The back yard is a swamp. Good thing we don't have a basement.



The kids have all been going stir crazy. Bella has ventured out a few times to stomp in her boots. Sophie only once or twice. Ben has ventured out, splashed, got soaked and muddy and happy. Still, it's not enough.



Right now it's only a light drizzle. They are all out splashing in the dishpans, making a huge swampy puddle right below the back door.



And I don't care because you know what they aren't inside whining or screaming. They aren't fighting or complaining. They are playing happily together. And after all there are towels and dry clothes aplenty when they wear themselves out. (May it not happen for a while longer.)



It's supposed to clear up tomorrow. We're hoping for a beach day.

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Our Trip to the Aquarium

Turtle!


Today we took the kids into Boston to visit the New England Aquarium. They laughed. They cried. I think it was a most successful trip.



Bella and Sophie look at the sea lions.


We parked at Braintree station, about fifteen minutes drive from our house, and took the Red Line in to South Station in Boston. We could have taken the commuter train, there's a station in our town; but there is a large gap in service in the middle of the day, right when we'd want to come home. The Red Line offers all the excitement of a train as far as the kids are concerned and all the convenience of the T in terms of frequent departure times.



Bella holds the dandelion that she picked on the walk to the aquarium.


When we arrived at South Station we got to take three different elevators up to get to ground level. That was fun.



Dom lifts Sophie so she can get a better view of the sea lions.


We had a lovely stroll down the new greenway, marveling at the absence of the old Central Artery which used to block out the skyline. Now there is a pleasant string of green spaces separated by city streets, little parks planted with flowers, grassy knolls shaded by trees, a few sculptures, benches, groups of chairs, a giant hammock, pushcart vendors selling various kinds of food, a fountain that kids can splash in. The girls enjoyed our walk. Bella picked a stray dandelion-- she knows better than to pick flowers in flower beds.



Sophie and the sea lion.


I realized how very much I miss going into Boston. I love watching people on the train, on the streets, in the parks. I love the sense of adventure and excitement of being on foot in the big city. I love examining the architecture, glimpsing the boats in the harbor, exploring new places. Oh and sharing it with my kids is so awesome. It's very exciting that they're finally getting to the age where they can appreciate this kind of expedition.



Dom hold Ben up to look at the penguins.


The aquarium was fun, though I think Bella started to hit overload about halfway through. That or it was just past her usual lunch time. She started complaining, "I want to go home." But then she'd gamely look at another tank full of fish and ooh and ahh appropriately.



Penguin!


We had an expensive lunch at the aquarium cafe. My fish and chips were actually quite good. Bella's burger was awful. Sophie ate her entire hot dog in five seconds flat. Bella spilled her milk. Twice. Poor Ben, who had previously fallen asleep in the stroller, woke up partway through lunch and screamed and screamed and screamed to find himself in this strange, crowded place full of noise and people and noise. (Fortunately all the noise covered his screaming fairly well.) He did calm down after a while and ate some french fries and drank some of the remaining milk.



Bella watches the penguins.


After lunch we walked back to South Station. Bella was dragging a bit on the walk back; but didn't complain. She's such a good sport. The train ride home was just as exciting as the train ride into the city. With the additional fun of a very gregarious little boy who made friends with Ben and then offered some of his jelly beans to Bella. His friendly patter rescued us from more crying baby, so I was quite grateful for his attentions, even if I did refuse his generous offer of a jellybean.



Ben with a school of fish.


Home at last after a long day of fun. Sophie fell asleep in the car and then had to be soothed back to sleep for her nap. Ben went down easily and slept until 4:30. Bella was too wound up to nap. She drew pictures and danced instead while I collapsed in my chair for an hour.



Bella: "Fishies, fishies, fishies!" Suddenly I see her two year-old self.


Tonight's bedtime prayer.

Dom: Thank you God for the wonder & beauty of the all the fish & animals & birds you have made & that we could see them in the Aquarium.

Bella: And Bass Pro Shop.

Dom: Yes, Bella, and Bass Pro Shop.

Yes, we took the kids to Bass Pro Shop on Monday. Gotta love how four year-olds put everything into perspective.



Ben watches the fish and eats Cheerios.


Now Dom and I realize that going into the city with the kids is achievable, was actually quite pleasant and didn't have too many repercussions, we're starting to think maybe we can plan other trips: The Children's Museum, Boston Public Gardens for the swan boats and the Make Way for Ducklings Statues, The Science Museum.... Maybe even the MFA.



Anemones and urchins


One odd thing about our day. Dom forgot his iPhone and I'd left my cell phone at home, figuring it would be redundant and anyway the battery was dying. So we never knew what time it was. And of course Dom wasn't able to post updates and pictures to twitter and Facebook. We were back in the dark age. And for most of the day I for one didn't miss it. I'm not sure about Dom, though.



Sleeping Ben, laughing Bella.



Sophie touches starfish in the hands-on tidal pool. I wish it hadn't been crowded the girls could hardly squeeze in.



Waiting for the train to go home.



Bella on the train.



Sophie on the train.



Ben on the train.


Dom's version of our travel adventures.

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Two Books, First Impressions

I just finished two books that really have nothing in common except incidentals: they are both huge and both have been mentioned recently at Here in the Bonny Glen.

I suppose they have and one other thing in common. Each is by an author that I would put on a list of writers who have been most influential to me: A.S. Byatt (I wrote my senior thesis on her novel Possession: A Romance) and Guy Gavriel Kay (I think my favorite fantasy author after Tolkien and Lewis, which is seriously high praise.)

I made the mistake of requesting both Under Heaven and The Children's Book from interlibrary loan at the same time. And they came in at the same time and I stared at them sitting on the counter and wondered if I was insane. (Probably the librarians, who know me well because we are in there all the time, wondered the same.)




I began with Under Heaven because my sister was eying it hungrily and I knew I'd better finish it before she grabbed it (I'm a much faster reader than she is and waiting for her to finish would have been excruciating.) Also because I was looking forward to it more. I can't believe it took me so long to get to it. Of course I finished it in just over 24 hours. Not so good for the laundry or the kids but this was a hard book to put down.

Under Heaven is a definite departure for Kay, though it is also very much in keeping with his other works. Like all of his novels except his very first trilogy, The Fionavar Tapestry, it is set in a fantasy world that is parallel to a specific historical time and place rather than in a secondary world. This device of creating a fantastic other world that still echoes our own allows Kay to explore specific historic milieus and themes but also allows him to indulge in non-historical what-ifs and to manipulate his characters and time line of events to suit his narrative purposes. Not being tied to historical accuracy as a historical novelist is allows him a much freer reign to explore historical trends, motifs and themes.

Kay also incorporates elements of fantasy and the supernatural into these worlds he creates, to greater or lesser degree. The trend has been that his earlier novels were most fantastical and his later novels have been more and more realistic with only slight elements or hints of the supernatural.

Unlike his previous historical fantasies, which are all set in the West, in Under Heaven Kay moves to the Far East. Under Heaven's historical parallel is Tang dynasty China.

The central premise of the story is a wonderful plot device. The younger son of a famous general, Tai, is given a gift worthy of an emperor, 250 western horses. The gift could make his fortune or get him killed. It catapults him from being a virtual nobody into the center of imperial politics, with all its intricacies of ritual and protocol, not to mention deadly alliances and intrigues.

In Under Heaven there are many parallels in plot and characters to Kay's beautiful and intricate two-part Sarantine Mosaic (Sailing to Sarantium and Lord of Emperors, which is set in a fantastic version of the Byzantine Empire under Justinian. Both are stories about empire and rebellion. Both include an array of strong, beautiful women who are politically influential--even though they do not hold office-- because of their ability to manipulate or partner with powerful men with whom they have sexual relationships of one sort or another.

I'm still sifting through Under Heaven. It is an interesting departure and at times I was able to see much more of Kay the author peeking through. I wasn't always as convinced that the characters were really Chinese in that they didn't feel different enough from his other characters.

I think Kay is not as well known or as widely appreciated as he should be. Very few of the fantasy aficionados that I know have even heard of him.

Note: I would caution those who have not read Kay before but are interested in trying him that all of his novels have strong sexual content. I don't think it is gratuitous; but if you're easily disturbed by such things, well, use your own judgment. For the same reason, I wouldn't necessarily recommend Kay for younger readers.





The Children's Book by A.S. Byatt

Lissa says: "Byatt’s writing is incredibly lush, and I was fascinated by the history. But it’s a really, really dark book. Sordid, in some ways. Unsettling. Real, I think, though it’s sad to think so."

I thought Lissa might have understated how sordid it was. I almost put the book down several times in the beginning and am not sure why I continued except that the art fascinated me. Not so much the narrative art as the depictions of the various artists. That’s one of the things that has always attracted me to Byatt, the way she writes about art and writing.

At first I thought most of the sexuality was not only sordid but completely gratuitous. It just felt thrown in and I wasn’t sure why. By the end, though, I saw that it was mostly a part of the greater tapestry. In part it was a thread in the social history Byatt was writing. Fascinating to see how many of the social trends that I think of as belonging to the 20th century had deep roots in the Victorian era. I still think it was more graphic than it needed to be; but now I can at least see a narrative purpose.

A few nights ago I had a dream in which I was back at college and in a discussion vehemently promoting NFP and excoriating artificial birth control. An interesting subconscious reaction to all the political discussions. I kept wanting to yell at the well-meaning but misguided characters that they had no idea what evils they were unleashing.

I'd love to hear what anyone else thinks of the novel.


* * * * Warning: Spoilers * * * *

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I did feel that the ending was somehow darkly satisfying. I didn’t expect the book to end with anything like a comforting conclusion but the irony was the war brought many of the characters together in a way that was inconceivable before the social fabric was torn by the horrors of the trenches. That final dinner scene with everyone around the table, shell shocked and haunted by dreams but together as a family was really a masterful twist. Of course it was also haunted by the image of that other household with Olive and Humphrey, which did not have the family coming together but instead was blown apart into individuals hiding from each other in a haunted house.

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Ben Playing in the Mud

The other morning I opened the back door to see what the temperature was like. It was raining and I wondered whether it would be warm and muggy or cool and damp.

It was cool, with a lovely breeze so I left the door open to let the room breathe. As soon as my back was turned Ben slipped outside. Dom tried to stop him; but I said, "Let him go. The worst that can happen is he'll get wet and muddy."





I loved watching him, how delighted he was when he bent down and found a little stick, how intent he was on poking things with his stick, on splashing in the puddles with his hand.





I love the flat-footed toddler squat. Wish I could do that! It's amazing how they can just drop like that and then stay in that position for forever.





I love the concentration. So very, very focused. Oblivious to everything but the matter at hand.





This is such a great age. Every day he seems more and more a little boy, less and less a baby. I watch him exploring his world, playing with his sisters, mastering new skills. He is an intrepid adventurer, a scientist, a pioneer, a student, a comedian.

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5 Years Ago Today

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Pray with Us, Please

We just learned that my mother-in-law, Virgina, is on her way to the ER with fever and pain in her leg. She's had knee replacement surgery in both legs. Last year she had a serious infection. The doctor said if it returned, it would probably cost her leg.

Please join our family in prayer for her.

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Catholic New Media Celebration in Boston

CNMC blogging panel. Moderator Rachel Balducci. Panelists Danielle Bean, Tom Peters, Sarah Reinhard, Mark Shea, Sr. Anne Flanagan, and Jeff Geerling.


Oh my goodness this weekend was AWESOME!!!! Meeting Danielle Bean and Rachel Balducci and Lisa Hendey and Sarah Reinhard, and Fr Roderick and Simcha Fisher and several wonderful Daughters of St Paul and... and... and...





When I pulled into the parking lot on Saturday morning, I spotted the unmistakable Danielle Bean running to get something from her van. When she saw us, she stopped and shouted, "Melanie Bettinelli, is that you?!" And then she gave me a big hug and gushed over the kids-- I had to open the door so she could see them. And that meeting set the tone for the whole weekend. Lots of love. Lots of meeting friends face to face for the first time. And yet it didn't feel like a first meeting at all. It's a wonderful reminder that the people we meet online are not "virtual" people. Nor are the friendships we forge there phony. Though I do think it's important to have these meet ups from time to time to cement the relationships and to remind myself of the real people on the other end.





The kids were wonderfully well behaved and sat calmly through several long sessions. They got so many compliments.



This year's CNMC had a kids track-- not just babysitting but real activities that tied into the theme of the conference. However, it was for kids five and older. Nice for Bella next year, I thought. But then in the afternoon when I was trying to remove a screaming Ben from the hall I noticed they were doing a puppet show. I took the girls in to watch and they were invited to stay. So I was able to do the final afternoon session with just Ben. Right as Sophie was apt to get a bit antsy. What a Godsend! On the way home Bella told me all about the puppet show and how they told her about Jesus and the sacraments. Oh she gushed and gushed.



Ben watches Rachel Balducci taking notes during Tom Peters' talk. (Those are baby Isabel's feet on the right.)

I'm glad that there are recordings of all the talks so that I can go back and listen to them again at my leisure. What I heard was awesome. But I did have to chase Ben during the keynote speeches when we were outside in the hall and we went home before Cardinal Sean's address. (Visit SQPN Live for the recorded ustream videos.)

There are so many other things about the day I want to write about; but I could spend all day and not cover them all.



Boston sunset with Zakim Bridge.


On Saturday night Dom and I went to the formal SQPN dinner at Faneuil Hall in Boston while my mom and sister babysat the cranky kids. A real date! We haven't been into Boston since Bella was a baby so this was a real treat for us. I stayed up way too late. This pregnant mama is used to being in bed by 10 or 10:30 these days. But I'm so glad I went.



Ian Rutherford of Aquinas and More listend to the keynotes.


It was great to sit next to Ian Rutherford of Aquinas and More so that we could catch up in person. We were in the same class at UD and shared a Rome semester. It's been 14 years since our graduation and Ian now has a most successful business and a beautiful family. He tells me his lovely wife is expecting baby number 10 next month.


We also sat with the lovely Sister Anne and Sister Margaret of the Daughters of St Paul and with Brian Caulfield of the Knights of Columbus and the Fathers for Good blog. Here's his blog post about CNMC.




On Sunday afternoon we traveled into Cambridge for the Boston Social Media Tweetup. (Can it be? A second date!?!)





There I got to chat with Fr Roderick Vonhogen of SQPN. Also we got to meet the hilarious Simcha Fisher, her husband and her adorable baby girl. We didn't get to talk nearly long enough.



Simcha's husband, Damien, entertains the baby by walking her along the bar at John Harvard's in Cambridge.


I'm going to have to crawl back into my introvert cave to recharge my batteries (and catch up on sleep too) but I am on such a high from all the wonderful conversations with so many friends new and old. I just wish all my other blog friends could have come too to share in the joy. And yet I see events like this as a sort of a foretaste of the heavenly banquet when I'll finally get to meet everyone face to face all at once in one great huge party and the conversations will never end and we'll have time to cover every topic under the sun and get to know each other truly madly and deeply with never a misunderstanding or miscommunication.... Sigh, putting it that way, I just can't wait.







Ben plays with his ball. In the background the divineoffice.org table.


See the rest of my photos.

For more glimpses photos from the official Boston Archdiocese photostream.


Sarah Reinhard, the snoring scholar, offers a beautiful reflection at her blog just another day of Catholic pondering: The Best Part of the CNMC


I didn't get to go to the meet and greet Friday night (someone had to put the kiddies to bed); but Dom and my mom went. I got to hear the stories and see the pictures. These were great photos from Matther Warner.

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How Does Your Garden Grow?

I'm glad squash flowers are so lovely. So far we have one small zucchini and no pumpkins to speak of. At least I've been able to enjoy looking at the blooms.


For a while now I've been meaning to post these pictures of our garden and of the children in the garden. Some of these are almost a month old! I also thought it would be fun to write updates on what's new with each of the kids. But my blogging motivation has been pretty low of late. So now I'm lazily killing two birds with one stone by combining the two into a massive photo essay post. This is what we're up to these days: growing a few vegetables in our halfhearted garden, growing gorgeous children in our wholehearted home.

Ben

Today it seemed like the walking to crawling ratio was about 90-10. He's pretty nimble on those legs. He can stand up in the middle of the room (or in the middle of the yard) without holding on to anything while carrying a toy or book or blankie (or pot lid or bowl or name kitchen item he probably shouldn't have). He can change course, turn around and walk the other way, walk around something in his way.



Ben examines the mint that is taking over the garden bed.


We've got a new naptime/bedtime routine for Ben. I sit in my favorite rocker and hold him in my lap and read a big pile of board books to him. Then I carry him to the office and put him in bed. No more trying to rock him to sleep; but now we're easing the transition from play time to sleep time with a gentle slowing down routine. Most of the time when we get to his bed, he goes down with no fuss. At bedtime we follow up the board books with a blessing with holy water and then we go around and bless everyone in the house and get goodnight kisses.



Ben wants to help water the garden.


The past few days Ben's started walking up to me around his nap time. He grabs onto my skirt to get my attention, reaches his hands up to me, and says, "Night-night." I look at the clock and note that, hey, it really is your nap time. I've never had a child tell me when it is time to take a nap. This is very strange.



Ben imitates his sisters, tries to climb up the slide.


Ben has also decided that he really likes cow's milk. He drinks two or three sippy cups a day. Very different from his sisters. Bella didn't start drinking milk till she was 2. Sophie still doesn't drink more than a few sips in a day. He's also learned how to say, "milk".



"Don't tell me what I can't do!"


Ben has a great sense of humor. He giggles at the word "spluck" in the board book One Duck Stuck. He thinks I'm funny. Enough said.



With a little encouragement from his sisters.


Ben loves roaming about in the back yard. His little legs are covered with scratches and bug bites and he doesn't care. He can climb up and down the back step with ease. He eats dirt and sand from the sandbox. He follows his sisters around or he wanders off and does his own thing. I love the fact that most nights he needs a bath because he's been playing hard.



"Hey, Mom, watch me!"
Sometimes when I sing Ben makes a sort of humming sound as if he's trying to sing along. He also bounces up and down when I sing.



If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.


When he hears me start to play a You Tube video, Ben comes rushing to my computer and demands to be picked up so he can see the screen. He can be very insistent.



"Once more unto the breech!"

Sophie

Sophie with squash leaves.


Sophie has developed a little bit of a stutter. My brief online research has led me to believe this is very common at her age. And it often happens to children who are very smart. Their mouth can't keep up with their thoughts, or something like that. I'm not too worried. Every time we go to the pediatrician (even if it's for Ben or Bella) the doctor remarks on how articulate Sophie is.



Sophie tries the mint.


Sophie is very verbal. She loves to narrate books to herself. Her rendition of Caps for Sale is hilarious. She interpolates her own ideas and adds all sorts of details. For example she reads the bluish grass on one page as water and so tells a story about the nice water.



Startled Sophie


Sophie and I are reading The Wind in the Willows as her nap time read aloud. We're almost done. I think we might go right back to the beginning and start again when we finish. Love that book.



Sisters in the garden.


Sophie continues to be the most adventuresome eater. Tonight she asked for and ate a bowl of salsa. With a spoon, as if it were soup.



"Don't touch, Sophie," says Bella.


Sophie imitates Bella in everything, even to the names of her imaginary children. They all have the same names as Bella's imaginary children. So Sophie refers to her daughter as "My Dane."(Jane)



Bella instructs Sophie.


Sophie continues to be a little less physical than Bella, a bit less adventuresome. She still adores sitting in the swing and would happily have someone push her for an hour or more at a time.



Sophie climbs.


Sophie insists on wearing Bella's pajamas. I don't think we even have any size two summer pjs. She refuses to wear anything that Bella hasn't worn recently. Some nights they even split a pair, Bella wearing the top and Sophie wearing the bottoms. She looks a bit silly in the oversized clothes; but it makes her happy to be like her big sis.



"Peek-a-boo!" says Sophie.


When Sophie and Bella fight over a toy or book, it is usually Sophie who gives in when I plead for them to share. She can be very generous. Or maybe she's just used to being bullied.



Sophie climbs the slide.


Sophie often mimics Bella. She borrows phrases and dialogue scripts. So it often sounds as if she's in a "why?" stage. But she really isn't, I don't think because there isn't persistent with it the same way Bella was. She asks and then moves on to something else after she's got an answer. It's not exactly just a sound she's making, there is real intent there; but it's also not the same developmental phase.



Look at me!

Bella

Bella examines the pepper plants.


I realized recently that Bella no longer "reads" aloud (in contrast to Sophie who always narrates her books). She sits quietly and turns the pages, examining them closely.



Contemplative Bella


Bella doesn't seem to be ready to read yet, though she is interested in letter sounds. Sometimes out of the blue she'll ask me what words begin with P or C or M. She's occasionally interested in trying to write her letters. I'm not pushing her though. It will happen when it happens. For now, I'm just happy she's a bookworm.



Bella munches on some mint leaves.


Bella's very interested in asking me what a book is about. We finish the book and she almost always asks, "What's it about?" Usually I turn the question on her and ask her what it's about. When she says "I don't know." I ask more leading questions: "Is it about flowers? Clowns? Dogs?" She laughs and says no to a few of those and then suddenly is able to tell me a little more.



Brown-eyed girl.


Some of her current favorite books are the Mike Venezia series of biographies of famous artists. She especially loves the Mary Cassatt book. One night we'd just finished reading it and she said, "I just love this book." I started asking her about it, about Mary Cassatt. "What was Mary Cassatt's favorite thing to paint?" I asked. "I don't know." "Did she paint flowers? Soldiers? Mountains?" I threw out a few suggestions. She stopped me, "Stop asking questions. I need to think." Slowly she paged through the book. Then she said. "I think I think her favorite thing to paint was children. And mothers." Bravo Bella!



Bella helps pull weeds.


Bella is sometimes so thoughtful and helpful. She loves mothering Ben and Sophie. The other day I'd given each girl a bag of Cheerios to much on and Sophie was upset because for some reason she wanted the bag that Bella had. I didn't realize what the problem was and was getting more and more frustrated with Sophie' tantrum. Then Bella offered to exchange bags with Sophie, calming the storm. I praised her for her insight, thoughtfulness and generosity.



Bella waters the tomatoes.


Another book Bella loves is the Fabulous Flying Journey. It's a chapter book in large picture book format with full color illustrations on every page and so is perfect for the non-reader who has a longer attention span for listening to narrative and yet who likes to look at pictures as she listens to the story. It's an adventure tale about three children who travel around the world with their eccentric uncle in a hot air balloon called the Belladonna. They are searching for their uncle's twin brother who is lost. Along the way they meet and chat with various animals, learning about the animals and their habitats. (The uncle is a scientist who made a sort of magic potion that allows the kids to talk to animals. Frankly I'd rather they made it magic rather than pseudo-science; but so far that's my only gripe with the book's premise.) The book's end papers are world maps with the adventurers route traced out on them. The book has the potential to be a fun lesson in geography and natural history; though we're not really looking at the maps to track the journey.



Ben and Sophie watch Bella with the hose.


Bella has evidenced a wonderful persistence with Fabulous Flying Journey. She's the one who found the book on the shelf and brought it to me to read. I read part of a chapter once or twice a week. We're not consistent. And she always marks the place we leave off and that's where we start the next reading. No re-reading necessary. She will sit for an hour at a time flipping through the book on her own, studying the pictures. I've been very impressed with her level of engagement and her ability to follow the story as interrupted as it has been.



Bella at work.


Bella loves helping with the garden. I really wish we were growing more things, mainly so she could have more tasks to do. She helps water the plants, she helps gather the produce. One of her favorite things is being asked to gather a bowl full of mint leaves for us to use in cooking or in iced tea.



Bella sprays the beans.


I figure just having a garden will teach her more about the life cycle of plants than any science textbook. Though we do have this lovely picture book of the life cycle of an apple tree. It's very detailed about the parts of the flower and the process of fertilization. Bella has absorbed quite a bit from the book and will point out sepals, petals, pollen. She and Sophie helped push the seeds into the ground and have been thrilled to see how those seeds produce plants that themselves bear seed-bearing fruit. How wonderful to watch the discoveries she's making!



Bella with hose.


I feel bad that often Bella gets the leftover bits of my attention. Because she has learned in some small ways to delay gratification and she does understand why Mama can't read that book to you right now, it is easy for me to put Ben and Sophie first and then tend to Bella with whatever leftover energy I have. On one hand, I'm grateful at her increased maturity. On the other hand, I'm sad that she has to do without. I do try to make sure I give her some one-on-one attention each day. Not as much as she'd like; but what I can do.



Bella with the first bowl of green beans.


I also remind myself of those days when she was a toddler rattling about in our apartment all by herself and how we'd sigh and say, "Bella needs siblings." Now she does and loves playing with them. She's a lovely and sometimes frustrating mixture of independence and neediness, as I suppose most of us are. I can start to see glimmers of the girl she's growing into and it excites me. Although I'm not ready to begin formal schooling with her this fall, I'm thinking maybe I'd like to find a way to add a little bit of preschoolish structure to her days. Contemplating where that might take us. I'm drawn to Montessori philosophy but not to the need for materials or the need for so much preparation by the parent/instructor. Just looking at other people's Montessori preschool setups exhausts me.



Bella loves beans.


And now I figure this post should count for about two weeks worth of blogging. If I weren't so lazy, I'd divide it into three posts and have them publish on three different days; but I've already spent too much time on this as it is. So it goes.

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Birthday Book List

I mentioned(on Twitter/Facebook) that I just got a new pile of books for my birthday and that I was looking for a place to put them all. Of course my friends are just as booky as I am and so almost immediately I got a request to share the titles. (All these books were on my Amazon wishlist, by the way.)

So this is that post. Book lovers, welcome.


1. The Intellectual Life: Its Spirit, Conditions, Methods by A. G. Sertillanges, O.P.

This one was from my best friend in college, Stephanie. With a note about how I was always the one with more intellectual pretensions. I plead guilty as charged.


The rest of these are from my husband. Who sweetly indulges my passion for books even though there is no more empty shelf space.


2. Pocketful of Pinecones: Nature Study With the Gentle Art of Learning : A Story for Mother Culture by Karen Andreola.

I loved her Charlotte Mason Companion. I still need to buy it as I've only ever checked it out from the library. Looking forward to this guide to nature study.


3. The Backyard Birdsong Guide: Eastern and Central North America (Backyard Birdsong Guides)
In the same nature study vein as the former book.... This was an instant hit with the girls. This guide book has beautiful pictures but the big attraction is the birdsong player attached to the book. Search for the number that matches the one in the book and you can hear a recording of the bird's song from the Cornell Lab of Ornithology.


4. Bird Songs: 250 North American Birds in Song
Because if one birdsong guide is good, two is even better. This has a wider range of birds. But only one song for each bird whereas the shorter backyard guide has two (or even three) for most of the birds.


5. Rocking the Cradle Catholic by Mary Moore.


6. Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day: The Discovery That Revolutionizes Home Baking
I think this is pretty self-explanatory.


7. Not a book, but also from my dear husband was a cd of songs in French for children, which sadly does not include a sheet with lyrics. Bella is already in love with it. I played it for her and she began dancing around the living room. She told me there was a different dance for each song.

Recently Bella has become almost obsessed with the idea of foreign languages. We have a smattering of children's books in French and Gaelic and my sister has a picture book in German. When asked to read them, I often will read a bit in the language and then retell the story in English (or sight translate, which is really hard when I'm tired.) Also somehow she knows that I speak a little (very little) bit of Italian. She's started asking me about languages, pretending to say things in different languages. I certainly don't mind indulging this new fascination, though I'll confess I do so in a very lackadaisical way.


8. I also received a subscription to Poetry magazine. I vaguely remember maybe getting a notice from someone about giving it to me (Mum B, was it you?). But I don't remember who. And that could be a phantom of my imagination.

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My Birthday

So yesterday was my birthday. I'm weird. I like people acknowledging my birthday; but I hate being the one to tell everyone: Hey, it's my birthday! So I didn't say anything here. Plus yesterday I was too busy writing about the Liturgy of the Hours.

The main thing I want to say about my birthday is how grateful I am to my wonderful mother. Now that I'm a mom myself I am beginning to get a glimpse of just how awesome she is. Thanks, mom!

I had a great day. My awesome husband let me sleep in. Then he prompted my beautiful daughters to greet me with "Happy Birthday, Mama!" Oh the cutest thing ever! And Sophie continued to say it all day long. At least twenty times. So sweet!

I got to spend the day with my favoritest people in the whole world: my kids.

We all went out to dinner at a great Indian place. My sister came and all the kids and it was a blast. We got there early, were the first people there in fact, which I've found is key to going out with the little people. All the kids ate Indian, even Ben. Bella ordered soup because she decided she wanted soup. She loved the chicken and corn special of the day. They all had tandoori chicken, naan and rice and some beef and lamb kabobs too. I had a delicious vindaloo chicken, my sister had a lamb saag and Dom had a seafood masala.

Then we went home and had mini cupcakes and I opened my presents. Once again, Ben refused to try the cake. I'm thinking he has a strange aversion to dessert.

It was also the anniversary of Ben's baptism; but we elected to postpone that celebration till tonight as he was too tired to join in the after-dinner festivities.

I had forgotten that one of my favorite blogging moms not only has an adorable youngest daughter who shares my name; but also shares my birthday. Her birthday blog post is much more inspiring than mine, so go read it.

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Master Index of Liturgy of the Hours Posts

Just for easy reference, I thought I'd gather together a list of all the blog posts I've written about praying the Liturgy of the Hours. (Hereafter abbreviated as LOTH) For my own use when I want to find them. Also for anyone else who is interested in finding out more about the liturgy of the hours; seeing how I pray the hours in my home; finding tips on how to pray Liturgy of the Hours when you are a mother with infants and toddlers.

I've arranged the links chronologically. And included the date each was posted in parenthesis at the end, mainly for my own reference but also because it might be interesting to see the time frame and follow the development of my current approach.

The * indicates the posts I think are probably most useful.


*Motherhood and the Monastic Life
My thoughts on an essay I'd read called "The Domestic Monastery". My first realization I could link prayer times with nursing times. (7/26/06)


Bedtime Prayers.
More about praying with toddlers than LOTH, though there is a brief mention of how I'm incorporating LOTH into my days. (7/8/07)


A Still, Small Voice
Sometimes in the midst of the busiest seasons of motherhood of motherhood, pregnant and caring for a small toddler, God grants the gift of quiet prayer time through the seeming curse of insomnia. (8/14/07)


Holy Cards
Praying the Liturgy of the Hours with a toddler, using holy cards as a tool for distraction/redirection. (9/13/07)


* The Liturgy of the Hours in the Home, Christ in Our Hearts
A Christmastime reflection, mainly providing links to other bloggers writing about incorporating the Liturgy of the Hours into their days; but also some thoughts on perseverance in prayer, dealing with interruptions, pregnancy and postpartum periods and quotes from Pope Benedict on uniting one's voice with the celestial choirs. (12/29/07)


Isabella and the Liturgy of the Hours
A brief explanation of how I encourage 2 year-old Bella to pray with me. (6/26/08)


Review : divineoffice.org Liturgy of the Hours Website and Podcast
My review of the Divine Office podcast. (3/30/09)


Praying the Psalms
Thoughts on persistence in praying the LOTH in hard times. Stories about picking it back up after I've drifted away. How I modify my expectations during pregnancy and when I have a new baby. (7/2/09)


I Love You, Lord, You Are My Strength: Benedict's Birth (Part 2)
A blog post about how the LOTH helped me to get through the birth of my son (via c-section). Not for the faint of heart; but a glimpse into the way in which praying the LOTH has helped me through times of difficulty. (7/21/09)


*Praying the Psalms: or the Liturgy of the Hours for Dummies
This is my master post with tons of links I wrote to be a sort of introduction to LOTH: what it is and how do you get started. Suggestions for books and websites and all sorts of other resources. (7/25/09)


Brief review of the iBreviary application for iPod and iPhone
This is already a little dated as they have since released a new version. (9/23/09)


* Bella's Compline
My reflections on praying night prayer, otherwise known as compline, with my 3 year-old daughter. I include the full text of our modified version of compline. (2/25/10)


* Prayer Interrupted: The Liturgy of the Hours for Mothers of Little Ones
Originally written as a comment on a blog post at bearing blog as an encouragement to a mother who is discouraged about her ability to find time to pray LOTH when there are so many interruptions and distractions and she is so tired when she does get a bit of quiet. I tried to include all the helpful tips I could. (8/2/10)

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Prayer Interrupted: The Liturgy of the Hours for Mothers of Little Ones

I've blogged about the Liturgy of the Hours before, but bearing urged me to repost here, a comment that I left on this blog post because she found it helpful.

But let me back up a minute to fill in a bit of background. I've been enjoying bearing's series of posts on St Francis de Sales' Introduction to the Devout Life and have been slowly making my way through them. (Really god stuff, you should check them out.)

In this early post bearing wrote that she wasn't sure that the Liturgy of the Hours was really a devotion that suited her, even though it appeals to her a great deal. (This was following a quotation from IDL about different devotions being more or less suitable for people with different situations.):

Devotion requires discretion; "those who fancy themselves devout" commonly commit the indiscretion of attempting methods of devotion that are not suitable for their station in life.

I find this to be tougher to work out than it sounds. From time to time, for example, I've tried to steadily pray the Liturgy of the Hours -- usually just one or two offices -- as a personal devotion. Now, let me stress that the LOTH appeals to me personally a great deal. love coming to know the psalms. I love knowing that I'm praying the "prayer of the whole church" right along with the whole church. I love having a big fat worn dog-eared book with slips of paper and Post-it notes stuck in it, and praying intensely while flipping the pages back and forth from this section to that, like an engineering student taking an open-book thermodynamics exam. It suits me.

It takes concentration, I find, to really "do." And concentration is something of which I don't have enough on the regular basis that LOTH demands as a steady devotion. I tried, because it seemed that I should be able to make room for this prayer that I like so much. But it rarely works out. Either it's early in the morning or late at night and I'm too tired, or the children interrupt me. It seems I can only use this as an occasional treat, not my daily bread.

I wrote out a lengthy response because I have found myself facing the same sorts of difficulties in praying LOTH and because many wonderful friends have encouraged me to persist even through those difficulties.

Here, in slightly edited form, is my response. (I've kept bearing's bolded emphasis because I thought it was helpful. I've added subheaders to make it easier to read. I've also tried to expand some sections where I had additional thoughts and clarifications.

I'd also like to add that most of the wisdom I share here did not originate with me; but is what I've gleaned from others. i have been very blessed with good counselors.)


Bearing,

I agree that you shouldn't force yourself to stick with a devotion that simply isn't working. However, I have had some success with modifying my preconceived ideas of how LOTH should work so that it meshes better with my life as mom of little ones. So you may find that LOTH just doesn't work for you; but perhaps you might also have some success by tweaking the way you approach it.


Be Flexible and Expect Interruptions

I have found that I can mostly fit LOTH into my chaotic life as a mom of little ones; but I have had to learn to be very flexible and interruptible and to loosen my expectations. I did already have the habit of saying morning and evening prayer before I was married, so I did have a leg up in that regard, I suppose. I also started praying LOTH by being loose in my expectations. I was in grad school at the time and kept very irregular hours and was very short in discipline. I said morning prayer whenever I first got up (even if if was at noon), no matter how tired I was. And if I fell asleep a dozen times as I tried to pray, well, that's just how it went. And evening prayer I would say last thing before going to bed, also falling asleep many nights multiple times before I got through it all.


Focus on the Habit of Prayer Rather than the Quality of Prayer

Don't let the best be the enemy of the good. Yes, the best prayer is one in which your entire mind and heart are engaged; but good prayer is also a gift from God. Some days you are going to be distracted and your prayer will be less than perfect. Some days God withholds the gift of perfect prayer. I think maybe he allows distractions to help us to grow in perseverance. Perfectionism can definitely get in the way of accepting the less obvious gift of imperfect, distracted prayer.

For me developing the habit of daily prayer was more important than the quality of the prayer on any given day. So yes my concentration wasn't what I'd like it to be; but I think one can pray the hours with reduced concentration and there is still much good that comes from just saying the words even if it feels very empty. But like I said, I was single then, so I did push myself to finish each hour. If you have the freedom to do that, it's a great discipline; but if you can't finish each hour, there's a discipline in letting go of the prayer to take care of needy little ones too.


When Your Vocation Interrupts, Let It

Your first duty as a mother is to care for your little ones. Older children can be trained to wait until your prayer time is over, babies and toddlers cannot. Sometimes their interruption is your monastery bell that signals the end to prayer time.

In these hectic days of motherhood those prayer habits from my single life do stand me in good stead. Still, some mornings I only get through part of one psalm before I'm interrupted. And I've learned to count that as my morning prayer time and just pick up on the next hour and do the best I can. (Karen Edmisten has a beautiful post elaborating on this point: A Mother's Prayer Time.) It's been very hard to overcome my perfectionist tendencies which try to insist that it doesn't "count" if I don't say the whole hour's psalmody and reading and intentions and prayers; but I've definitely made progress in that regard in the past couple of years.


Have a Back-Up Plan

Like Kate suggested (in an earlier comment to bearing's post), I print out some of my favorite hymns and post them on the kitchen cabinets and sing as I cook breakfast and wash the dishes. They are my backup plan. On mornings when LOTH is interrupted or disappears completely, I try to at least start with a mumbled morning offering, try to say the Invitatory Psalm (95), which I've memorized, and then sing a few hymns as I go about my morning, feeding children, making breakfast and doing dishes.


Other Hourly Devotions Can Also Supplement LOTH

I do like the idea of praying at a set time just because the bell signals that it is time to stop and pray. Therefore, at noon I have my cell phone set to ring and we all pray the Angelus, the prayer which is the original working man's substitute for the longer devotions of the LOTH. (2 yr old Sophie and 4 year old Bella know most of the prayers and often join in; but I don't require it of them.) I try to stop, fold my hands and bow my head like in the famous painting by Millet. But often I can't stop and if I can't, I don't wait, because then I'm apt to forget. I just pray regardless of what I'm doing, I don't stop momming: changing a diaper, dishing out lunch, moderating an argument, etc. This nice thing about memorized short prayers is they can be said while working.


Pray According to the Rhythm of Your Household, Not the Clock

Little ones don't obey clock time. At least not in my house. So I pray when I can, saying the hour that is most appropriate for the time of day.

If I can, during nap/afternoon quiet time I pray either the short midday or midafternoon prayer or the longer Office of Readings. Which one I say depends on how much I need to sleep. If I fall asleep during these prayers, I figure that sleep is God's good gift to a tired mother.

Then evening prayer usually doesn't happen these days till after the kids are in bed, which may be 8 or 9 pm. I'm often nodding off or very distracted; but I do my best to get through. If I'm really tired, I just skip evening prayer and say the much shorter night prayer and if I'm super tired I do a shortened version of night prayer that omits the psalm and just says the responsory and canticle and closing prayer. (I've written previously about our shortened version of night prayer, which Bella often requests when she's having trouble sleeping.)


Pray with Your Children

I've also had success in getting the kids involved in praying LOTH with me instead of fighting to keep them away, trying to make them be quiet. I allow myself to be distracted by my children and figure God will give me quiet prayer times when I need it and at other times praying in the midst of interruptions and the circus is undoubtedly good for me too.

I approach praying the LOTH with children like I approach the Mass with children. Sometimes the greatest devotion I can offer God is the hard work of teaching my children how to pray. In serving them I serve him and his grace suffices to make up for the lack of quiet contemplation.

Even the youngest children can pray along with you if you are creative. I have a big pile of laminated holy cards in my prayer book and hand them to the toddlers to look at as I pray. Sometimes that becomes my prayer as I use the cards for an improvised litany of the saints: That's St Patrick. St Patrick, pray for us... That's St Joseph. St Joseph, pray for us....That's Blessed Teresa of Calcutta. Blessed Teresa, pray for us. It is very, very sweet to hear a toddler lisping along, pway a us. It's catechism and prayer rolled into one and just think of all the saints who are helping me to pray!

The girls have both learned how to repeat the antiphons after me and like praying with me. (In part, I think, because I invite them but never force them to participate.) Another way to get them involved was to listen to the LOTH at divineoffice.org I was totally able to feed the baby and listen to that while I got stuff done. Not optimal to multi-task while praying; but better than not praying, no?


Nursing Moms Have a Built-In Call to Prayer

When I've got a new baby I try to use the nursing sessions as my monastery bell and say at least a part of the nearest hour whenever I sit down to nurse. Having a laptop nearby allows me to access universalis. Or with the latest baby I did the readings on iBreviary my ipod touch. Very handy technology which lets you scroll with one finger and works until baby is old enough to be fascinated with the shiny thing in mama's hand. If you're praying with a book, it's a bit harder to balance the book and turn pages (I'd sort of prop it up with a pillow); but it can be done. I did it with both Bella and Sophie. At least until the baby is old enough to be distracted by the rustle of the pages and starts grabbing.


Be Persistent

You aren't going to succeed every day. Right now in the midst of my first trimester I am once again struggling against nausea and exhaustion. Some days I just give up and don't pray. (Not that that's good, it's just what is.) But I try not to punish myself for my failures with an excess of negative thoughts. (Mary of evlogia has a great post on how we can sabotage our good efforts with negativity and self-criticism: Logismoi.)

I think I might have given up early on if I hadn't had many cheerleaders telling me it could still work for me, especially if I changed my expectations of what LOTH requires.

Like I said before, it's kind of the same thing I've learned about attending Mass. I may be very distracted by keeping the baby and toddlers from screaming and fighting and I may not hear the readings and I may miss the homily and even have to leave to change a diaper and miss the consecration; but there is a grace at simply being present as much as I am able and allowing God to be present even in the midst of the distractions and interruptions. I've become convinced that liturgy doesn't require our full attention and concentration to be a source of grace for us-- though it is good for us to try to give it as much as possible.


Bearing suggested that this comment might become a whole series of how to pray LOTH with toddlers. I'm open to the idea; but for now I just figured I'd post what I already have. I do think perhaps I need to follow bearing's example and try to compile a master index post of everything I've written about LOTH.

Meanwhile, any suggestions on how I might expand this to a series of posts on the topic? Any questions about the details or things you'd like me to elaborate on in further blog posts?

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First Haircut

Before: eating blueberries at the farmer's market


So far Bella's had two haircuts in her life. (Three if you count that time when she was a toddler she had a massive tangle in her hair an I hacked it out.) Sophie has never had a haircut. But of course Ben is a boy and there's a big difference. When a little boy's hair starts to get long, you can't just keep it out of his eyes with a cute butterfly barrette or tie it into a topknot.



Shaggy Ben, before the haircut


So Ben was getting a bit shaggy, to say the least.





I knew it was about time. I also knew going in that there was no way of getting it even halfway straight. I went for the crude hack that did the job, getting it out of his eyes. I know it's supremely uneven. However, he almost never lets me comb or brush it anyway, so the tousled look suits him.





I want to take a few more swipes at it to make it a little neater; but he was getting pretty frantic and I didn't want him to get poked by the scissors. Maybe later I can have another go.





Anyway, I would be glad to have any advice from other mothers of boys: How do you manage haircuts when they are too young to be able to reliably sit still? Do you do it yourself, take them to the barber?





And please don't tell me my baby's hair looks awful. Really, I can see how crooked it is. I'm not blind. But I have no regrets. I am very glad it's not in his eyes anymore.

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Weekend Project Girl's Room Extreme Makeover

We've been hoping for a while to get Ben out of the portacrib in the office and into the crib in the girls' room. The first step in that process is to get Sophie out of the crib. And for that to work in the limited space we have, we needed bunk beds.

Finally we had a little extra money come in and we could afford to do what needed to be done. Last Saturday we went to Ikea to get the bunk beds for the girls. It was a major expedition for the whole family; that took the whole morning. The girls were in heaven, though. Ikea is fun for kids as long as you stick to the kid's furniture sections... and the food!




This past Saturday Dom and Bella went back while Sophie and Ben and I stayed home and they got two big bookcases. Since they will be holding mainly things other than books, I suppose I should call them shelving units; but that is so cold. So bookcases it is. The bookcases will replace two dressers the girls' clothes were in and a small bookcase that held books. They give us almost twice as much storage space because they are so much more vertical. Also it doesn't hurt that I pruned the girls drawers quite drastically. I've been needing to do that for some time.





While Dom and Bella were out shopping and getting free breakfast at Ikea, Ben took his nap and my sister and I rearranged some furniture and did a quick clean out of the girls' room. (I'm actuall not sure what Sophie was doing while we were rearranging things. Not getting underfoot too much and being generally not a nuisance, I suppose.) Yay for sisters! With her help, it didn't take much time at all.





I am so excited because we finally have room to put all three kids in one room. We also finally have room for there to be a space for all the toys and books and clothes. (Well, except for the boxes and boxes of baby clothes and out of season clothes for the girls that I removed from the closet. They will be sorted and reboxed and given away or stored in the shed.)





I still want to get baskets to contain the girls' clothes; but I do think this looks very nice as is. Ben's toys are on the bottom shelves. Then Bella's clothes are on the left and Sophie's on the right. Bottom shelf for shorts, pants and skirts; top shelf for tops and dresses. Top right shelf is for pajamas and spare sheets.





My rocking chair is in it's old place. For a while I thought it wouldn't fit with the new configuration. The closet behind it hold the girls' Sunday dresses. And on the top shelf are some puzzles and games with small pieces that I don't want scattered all over the place. The girls can play with only one thing at a time. Since Bella can reach them by standing on the chair, only Sophie really has to ask to play with them.





This shelf has about the same footprint as the old bookshelf; but it is twice as tall. All the books fit easily, plus now there is space for so much more! Bella has a little spot on to to store her treasures.





At the other end of the bed there was a little space. We didn't really want to pull down the hooks to shove the bed all the way into the corner. Also, I realized that it made a nice little nook that is the perfect place to park the bassinet and cradle. A little dolls' bedroom, if you will.





Here's a close-up of the inside of the closet with the chair pulled away so that you can see the former bookcase now re-purposed to hold toys. Formerly this space was jammed with bins of baby and toddler clothes. Those bins are now all over my living room waiting to be sorted. I guess I traded one mess for another! Since they are in the middle of the room, I now have a much greater incentive to actually deal with them.





Here's a closer look at the top half of the bookcase. I love the way stuff that was formerly crammed on top of Bella's dresser now makes a neat vignette. Bella loves that she can so easily access her stuff.





And here's the bottom half of the bookshelf. I plan to replace the floor fan with something smaller that can sit on top of one of the bookshelves so this space will be a bit easier to access. It's cozy but not hard to get at the books when the fan is not there. I'm thinking the board book basket might better be moved down to where Ben can actually reach it.


If you click through to the Flickr album, I've added additional notes to some of the photos.


I can't believe I had the energy to do all this. I also can't believe how much finishing this project has energized me to do more around the house. (Also, having a new vacuum cleaner has improved my housecleaning drive tremendously.)

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Domestic Church Photo Contest

My friend Dorian is looking for pictures of the domestic church for her new Domestic Church Flickr photo pool: "I'd like to see examples of how you integrate your faith life into your home through altars, prayer corners, decorations for the liturgical seasons, and outdoor displays."

She's running a contest too! The winner will get a $10 gift certificate to Aquinas and More!

Here are The Rules:

Rules are as follows:

Deadline is 11:59 PM Central Standard Time on Friday, July 30. UPDATED
UPDATE: New deadline is Monday, August 9. Whee!(I have made it sound super-specific in anticipation of the worldwide flood of entries).

You may enter as many photos as you'd like, but each photo should be of a different display - so, don't post three photos of the same icon taken from different angles.

Each photo gets you one chance to win our exciting prize. Who knows, there may be even more prizes announced later!

I am looking for photos from your home - indoors or outdoors. Photos of churches, etc., will be excluded. The point is to collect examples from your daily routine. They can be as simple as a picture of the rosary in your pocket (uh, take it out of the pocket, I guess) or as ornate as a display of statues of all the saints your family members are named after.

If we can get at least 25 different contributors and at least 100 photos in the pool, I'll dip into my Secret Prize Fund and add another $10 onto the value of the gift certificate. You'll get an extra contest entry for each person you refer who contributes a photo. They should email me to say "I was referred by Seamus McChurchy to enter your photo contest" so I know who sent them.

How to Enter:

If you're already using Flickr, you can click here and add photos. I am moderating all submissions, so they won't immediately show up as being added to the photo pool. If it's been more than 24 hours since you added a photo to the pool and you're still not seeing it, shoot me an email.

If you're not on Flickr, you can send me an email: dorianspeed AT gmail.com with photos attached. Please use "domestic church photo" in the subject line.

Even if you don't want to enter the contest, you should cruise on by to look at the great photos. I'm inspired.

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The History of the Covenant is the True Cause of the Cosmos

The history of salvation is not a small event, on a poor planet, in the immensity of the universe. It is not a minimal thing which happens by chance on a lost planet. It is the motive for everything, the motive for creation. Everything is created so that this story can exist-- the encounter between God and his creature. In this sense, salvation history, the covenant, precedes creation. During the Hellenistic period, Judaism developed the idea that the Torah would have preceded the creation of the material world. This material world seems to have been created solely to make room for the Torah, for this Word of God that creates the answer and becomes the history of love. The mystery of Christ already is mysteriously revealed here. This is what we are told in the Letter to the Ephesians and to the Colossians: Christ is the prototypos, the first-born of creation, the idea for which the universe was conceived. He welcomes all. We enter in the movement of the universe by uniting with Christ. One can say that, while material creation is the condition for the history of salvation, the history of the covenant is the true cause of the cosmos. We reach the roots of being by reaching the mystery of Christ, his living Word that is the aim of all creation. In serving the Lord we achieve the purpose of being, the purpose of our own existence.

Pope Benedict XVI, Meditation during the First General Congregation of the Twelfth Ordinary General Assembly of the Synod of Bishops (October 6, 2008)
quoted in Covenant and Communion: The Biblical Theology of Pope Benedict XVI by Scott Hahn

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Wandering Sophie

Yesterday I lost Sophie at the grocery store. We'd just finished checking out but the register was having trouble printing the receipt and I was waiting for a clerk to fix it. Suddenly a woman in a wheelchair by the door called out that there was a little girl outside calling for her mommy. I looked down and saw Bella but not Sophie and I knew. I called, Sophie, Sophie! and no answer. So I ran for the door and looked out and there was little Sophie in her bright pink dress, looking quite distressed and unable to get back inside through the automatic doors that only open one way.





I yelled for her and ran outside and scooped her up as the lady in the wheelchair apologized (I'm not sure why.) I told her thank you and thank you again. I had no idea how she'd got outside. I held her tight and then scolded her sharply for running off and then told her how scared I was. She didn't say a thing. I think she was stunned. She continued to be uncharacteristically quiet all the way home, foregoing her usual chatter, though Bella filled in the gaps.

She has never wandered off before. Though she sometimes gets distracted while walking down the aisles and has to be called to catch up, when she is paying attention she stays close.





Prompted by a homily on Sunday, Dom has decided to set his cell phone to beep every hour and has designated each hour as belonging to one of us. The first hour to me, the second to Bella and so on. He prays for us briefly, his own version of the Liturgy of the Hours. How funny that it was his hour to pray for Sophie just at that moment that she was straying.





I know I can never keep my eyes on all of my children at every moment of every day. It scares me and yet reminds me too that I can't control everything. I can only pray always and trust in God and their guardian angels to keep them safe.

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Pray with Me?

Prayer of Saint Gianna Beretta Molla

Jesus, I promise You to submit myself to all that You permit to befall me,
make me only know Your will.

My most sweet Jesus, infinitely merciful God, most tender Father of souls,
and in a particular way of the most weak, most miserable, most infirm
which You carry with special tenderness between Your divine arms,
I come to You to ask You, through the love and merits of Your Sacred Heart,
the grace to comprehend and to do always Your holy will,
the grace to confide in You,
the grace to rest securely through time and eternity in Your loving divine arms.

Amen+


Updated to add: I really should know better than to worry my dear friends. I just realized that when one is pregnant one should be careful when asking for prayers because some dear friends immediately fear the worst. This is nothing very serious; just a cross I was having a very hard time bearing and a realization I didn't have to bear it alone when I have friends to pray with me. I've been suffering from terrible insomnia, that's all; but when combined with the ever-present exhaustion and nausea, it leaves me wrung out and very frustrated. Tired all day and longing for sleep and then tossing and turning all night unable to get any. And having a very hard time praying my way through it. The night before last was the worst yet. (And yet yesterday was actually a very good day. God's grace does suffice.)

Last night was much, much better. I don't know if it's that I skipped my afternoon nap, which was very hard to do; but I thought it might be interfering with my sleep at night. Or perhaps it's that I decided to see if taking some of my medicines in the morning instead of at night might help. And, of course, I'm sure all your prayers were very helpful as well. I still woke half a dozen times but was able to get back to sleep each time instead of staring at the ceiling.

Anyway, thank you, my dear friends all. Thank you very much for your prayers. They are very much appreciated by this tired mommy.

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Ben at One Year

Ben had his one year check up Tuesday. He'd gained more than two inches and yet was almost exactly the same weight. The doctor had me put him back on the scale and checked again. (He'd been screaming and trying to stand while we weighed him the first time.)

But he's an incredibly active little guy. He crawls all over the house, all over the backyard. When he's not eating or sleeping, he's in constant motion. (Check out these photos of him at nine months to see how much he's slimmed out.)

It seems like he's decided he's ready to give up his morning nap. I'm not ready for him to give it up; but it looks like he might be. Stubborn child who does things before I'm ready for him to!

I am not, however, opposed to him learning to walk. And he's getting very, very close. He regularly lets go and takes three or four steps into the middle of the room before he drops to all fours. He likes the idea of walking but he's still not all that steady on his feet and he knows crawling is faster-- wow you should see how fast he crawls! He's a busy guy with places to go and things to do!

Still, I wouldn't be surprised if he's walking by the end of the month. I won't be shocked if he isn't, though. He does things at his own pace.

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Narration, Untitled

Dear Elizabeth,

First, thank you for your beautiful words. Thank you for your story which has spoken to my heart and continues to speak, long after I have turn away from the computer.

I woke this morning in the wee small hours. Around 3:30 or so. Not unusual for me. I went to the bathroom, got a drink, went back to bed, expecting to fall back into much-needed sleep. But that didn't happen. Instead as I lay there in the dark, your words came to me and I began to frame a response.

Are we supposed to think in narrative? I don't think so. I think we're supposed to think--or not think-- in prayer.

Now these words struck me--very much so-- at the time I read them. But I hadn't really thought of them since. So it was strange to find them there in the dark and my mind narrating a reply without my conscious will. And so here, I'll try as best I can to reconstruct that middle of the night journey in my head which was, strange to say, both narrative, framed as a letter to you from the very beginning of that first half-awake, half-dreaming thought, both narrative and profound prayer.

You see, respectfully, lovingly, I disagree that we're not supposed to think in narrative. Or that there is a difference even between narrative and prayer.

Oh I take your point and I think it's a good and necessary one. Praise and thanksgiving, petition and intercession and the docility of spirit which allows the Spirit to speak in us with groanings too deep for words: these are the deepest language of our soul. Prayer is what we were made for.

But I also think that we were made to think in narrative. That is precisely how I think we were meant to think because that is the way God most often speaks to us, has spoken to us.

It starts with In the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth and it ends with the wedding feast of the Lamb.

Or it starts with In the beginning was the Word. And the Word who was with God and who was God became flesh and dwelt among us. And the Word made flesh entered into the midst of a narrative, the story of God the Bridegroom wooing his wayward Bride, Israel. He entered into the story of a young woman named Mary and a man named Joseph. And during the years he walked among us, he taught us in the form of stories. He knew that if we are to truly learn to "Love your neighbor as yourself," we must not only learn the commandment but also understand the story. "A man fell victim to robbers as he went down from Jerusalem to Jericho," shows us what that means in a way so rich we are still plumbing the depths of that narrative.

Nor do I think prayer and narrative can be so easily distinguished one from the other. I began today as I do most days by saying Psalm 95. (I mean the deliberate beginning when I finally acknowledged the morning and that I wasn't going back to sleep.)

Do not harden your hearts as at Meribah, as on the day of Massah in the desert.
There your ancestors tested me; they tried me though they had seen my works.
Forty years I loathed that generation; I said: "This people's heart goes astray; they do not know my ways."
Therefore I swore in my anger: "They shall never enter my rest."

Narrative. The most basic prayer of the Church. Most of the psalms do have narrative as part of their poetry: the love story of God and his people. The story of a soul's relationship with her God. Can we really untwine narrative from prayer? Should we even try?

It seems to me the goal rather, should be not to leave narrative behind but to infuse the narrative of our daily lives with a spirit pf prayer.

I know I am wrenching your words out of context and that the conclusion you come to is basically the same as what I am saying here. And that we really don't disagree. After all, I have glimpsed the lovely way you teach your children the narratives of their faith, the love of the Good Shepherd. This then is really a letter to myself prompted by those words but moving away from your story and into one of my own. These are truths I needed to relearn and relive. But this narrative I received-- almost as if by dictation-- in the lonely darkness of a sleepless bed came in the form of a letter and so I have preserved them thus, a letter to a friend, a story that demanded to be shared.

There was more there in the dark, much, much more. All the stories of the Word unfolding in my mind, a glorious profusion like the spreading branches of a mustard tree: Abraham and Isaac and Jacob. Mary and Elizabeth, John the Baptist in the wilderness. The Samaritan woman at the well. Oh if I could recount the sweetness of that draught offered to my thirsty soul.... But some things defy words and perhaps I have already said too much. Suffice it to say that narrative was prayer and I couldn't untangle the act of composing a letter to you in my head from act of contemplation from the love letter to my soul that I received.

And i suppose that explains, perhaps a bit why maybe this should be a letter after all. Because it is above all a thank you note for a gift received, for a little seed of a word that bore much fruit planted deep in my heart. Thanks to you for sharing your words and thanks, above all, to the Author of all words who speaks in our hearts through these shared words, shared stories.

If anything I have written seems beautiful or true, it comes from the One who whispered to my heart in the dark. Anything false comes from this humble scribe, privileged to be a part of his story; but too tired to even contemplate revising this one more time. Forgive me if anything I have written here seems hasty or poorly spoken or at all a criticism of one I greatly respect and admire.

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