Reason for Cautious Optimism

My doctor called a little bit ago. Yeah, 8:30 on a Saturday night. He said the biopsy results were negative for cancer. And so, of course, he wants to run some more tests. Because there's still a chance the biopsy missed something. So he's going to schedule a hysteroscopy and d&c.

So a sigh a relief, but still the knot of tension. And more waiting. We're not out of the woods yet, but there might be light at the end of the tunnel. Or it might be a will o' the wisp. I am so glad glad he called tonight. I was thinking I wasn't sure how I was going to get through two more days of this agony, this waiting. I am so glad I have such a conscientious doctor; I could hear the relief in his voice and the concern.

I am still praying and I ask those of you who have been praying to continue to do so. To pray that the next tests will also be negative, to pray that we continue to be comforted during this next waiting period and to pray that we will continue to embrace whatever God wills for us.

I am grateful for the past few days' opportunity to draw closer to Christ's passion, to carry my cross and unite my suffering with his. This Lent has truly given me the opportunity to examine my life, to see my failings and to pick up my cross and follow Our Lord. As my dad reminded me tonight, the cross is truly the Tree of Life. But we only receive life from it if we embrace it when it appears in our path. Only if we carry it can the cross bear fruit in our lives. It is a great blessing to be able to walk even such a short way in his steps. And a great blessing as well to have so many of you, dear friends, keeping watch with me in prayer during this time of trial. I am certain that all of you who have prayed and are praying for me will receive many blessings as well. I also thank all of my readers who have shared their own sorrows with me, thank you for allowing me to walk along with you. And also those of you who have shared your joy with me, thank you for letting me share in your rejoicing.

I still do not know what God's plan is for me and for my family. We are still taking it one day at a time. Still walking blindly, in faith, clinging onto his hand, certain that he will not lead us into harm. It is hard to close my eyes and trust. I thought I was open to God's plan for me, but I discovered that it is one thing to be confident in times of prosperity, another to cling to him in times of adversity. I am weak and a sinner and I know that I am not strong enough to walk anywhere on my own. Only by his support can I take a single step.

And so tonight I am resolved not to worry about what tomorrow will bring. I will accept what today has brought, a small refreshment for what may still be a long road. I will continue to praise God and bless him, in times of sadness and times of joy and I invite you to do the same. And I will continue to pray for all those who are walking in dark places, for all those with cancer and other life-threatening illnesses, for all parents who have lost children, for all those suffering from infertility and for all those who are suffering alone with no one to comfort them. May God who is Love comfort all who are in darkness, may they receive the comfort that I have been so blessed to receive.

This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad.

Into your hands, Lord, I commend my spirit.

MORE...

Unless there is something you can do about it, it's pointless to worry. You just have to entrust all of your worries to God's care. Lest you think I'm speaking through my hat, I'm a brain tumor survivor. My son was three years old when it was diagnosed. It was the worst time of my life. But it was also the best time of my life. I learned a lot of lessons about faith in that ordeal. I learned that faith is a choice that I make to believe in God every single day. No matter what. NO MATTER WHAT.

Whatever the prognosis, whatever may happen, God will have you in his care. My brain tumor was not my only health issue. You see, the other reason I'm writing to you is because my husband and I were unable to have children. Our son is adopted. I never had a moment's hesitation about adopting. My husband did, but those have all melted away because we could never have asked for a better child. Our son is our gift, just as if he was our own. If you ever have to face the fact that you are unable to have more children, never fear. God works miracles all the time!

P.S. The "wine-dark sea". Homer. I LOVE it!

Great news!

Praise God!!! That is such wonderful news. I have been praying for you and will continue to keep you in my prayers. I will remember you at Mass this morning. God bless you.

What good news. I will continue to pray for you. You are so strong.

Thanks for the update. That's great news! I'm impressed with your doctor, that he called you as soon as he found out, rather than making you wait until Monday. We'll keep praying for you to be the rest of the way out of the woods.

Amen and yes, relief with uncertainty but Amen.

This is good news, even if not a final word, it fills me with hope. Blessed be God forever! I will continue to pray for your health of body and soul.

May God bless you and keep you. May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Prayers for your peace of mind and that the follow-up testing is also negative. It sounds like you have a terrific doctor.

Praise God. I will continue to pray for you. I admire your faith, your resoluteness, your willingness to accept whatever is ahead.

I am very happy for you.

I am so happy to hear that news. You all will continue to be in my prayers.

And God bless your doctor for his diligence and understanding of how long hours are when you are waiting for news.

Praise God for this news, Melanie! We'll continue to pray, though ... I know you don't have all the answers yet, and apparently *something* is going on, but all you can do, as you said, is give it to God.

I had something of a cancer scare after my first miscarriage, due to it being a partial-molar pregnancy, but I've never had another molar pregnancy, and it did not grow cancerous. Hang on to your hope and faith.

Will continue to pray!

Have been including you in my daily prayers and will continue to do so. God bless!

Good to hear about this news! I will continue to pray. Blessings on your doctor, for being good enough to call--you've a gem there!

I am glad to hear this -- you've been in my prayers all weekend.

I'm just checking in...I prayed for you and Dom particularly on my retreat, and am so relieved you got some kind of call over the weekend. What a blessing! Prayers continued...

praying for you!

Will continue to pray! What a terrific doctor you have!

Melanie, what good news! We continue praying for a complete absence of cancer.

So glad for some good news. We will keep praying!

Wonderful news, Melanie, even if it's not a final resolution. Keeping up the praying and hoping...

We will keep praying for you, but I am glad to hear that you have an inkling of good news. I actually thought when I first read about your situation "what was the possibility that it was a lab mistake?"

Am lifting you up in prayer whenever I think of it, especially at Mass on Sunday and during morning prayer. Entrusting you to the Immaculate Heart of Mary, and asking the intercession of Bl. Teresa, St Gianna Beretta Molla, and St Anthony --- I happened to see a St Anthony statue, depicting him holding out a loaf of bread, and it popped into my head yesterday that I should ask his intercession for you. I don't know why; maybe you do.

Take care of yourself.

I actually thought when I first read about your situation "what was the possibility that it was a lab mistake?"

That's what my doctor said as well. He was very concerned about the diagnosis simply because that kind of cancer is so very rare in someone my age and especially just after a pregnancy. He did a very good job of laying out the best case and worst case scenarios for us, saying he hoped it might turn out to be wrong, but also explaining what the likely results would be if the diagnosis was correct. He's being very cautious, and I find that very reassuring. He's also called me after office hours on three occasions now while pursuing this matter.

I've been praying for you all weekend long... especially as I was washing dishes, for some reason. You just popped into mind and I thought about how long this weekend must feel like for you.

I pray that the tests come back negative and you are truly cancer free!!

You have been on my mind and in my prayers all weekend. It's funny how the internet brings complete strangers together and turns them into the community of Christ. So happy to read about the latest lab report. I too wondered and hoped that this was just a lab error. I have seen this many times before. It sounds as if you are in excellent hands with that doctor of yours.
Last night on EWTN's the Abundant Life, Johnette Benkovic was talking about a book she wrote (I wish I could remember the title, but it was about suffering and picking up the Cross). She discussed her acronym of the word "hope" (and at the risk of making a fool of myself I'll repeat what I remember of it). "H" is for holding onto the Cross. "O" is for owning your suffering, making it your own. "P" is for perservering in patience and "E" is for expect Christ.
I hope I got that right. My prayers for you and your family continue. Please God.

Judy M.

God is so very good and merciful.

This is the most beautiful blog post I have ever read.

More prayers for you tonight, Melanie

That is wonderful news, I think that you have a fantastic doctor there.

:-) Indeed, we'll continue to ask for more good news for you, while expecting only Love.

Melanie, Just heard about this from our family website. Naturally, I was sick with worry. I hardly had time for one prayer when I scrolled to the latest news. I am still praying that the follow-up tests are good news also.

The next tests (hysteroscopy and d&c) are scheduled for April 13 at 7:30 am.

It seems like a very long time to wait, but the doctor sounds pretty confident that he won't find anything. The original diagnosis was simply so unlikely. He said it just didn't make sense.

It'll be just a day surgery and he said they won't even use general anesthesia so recovery shouldn't be too bad.

Thanks again for all the prayers. I continue to be overwhelmed by the blessings of so many prayers which make visible in my life the presence of the Body of Christ.

God bless all of you.